The first time you fell in love, did you ever think "this person was really born for you"? But after a few months, you discover that the person snoring loudly than the train, often forgetting the anniversary and washing dishes like leaving behind a layer of shiny oils like grease.
If you still stay with them, it's not because you're losing your mind, but because you've "upgraded" your perspective: You choose to look at the things that make your heart happy instead of counting the times people make you crazy.
It's like raising a dog. It can bit sandals, crawl into corners of the house, and have hair falling all over, but you still love it because every time you come home from work, it feels like you just hit Vietlott. The same goes for lovers, no one is perfect, but we love because of the feeling that no one else is for us.
My friend, 35 years old, was in love with a computer expert whose clothes were always wrinkled like being run over by a car. When she first fell in love, she was very resentful. But after 3 years, she said: "Now I see his wrinkled shirt as familiar as an old towel. Seeing her miss her husband". That is, love is like that, from the place of wanting to fix people, to the place... getting used to that wrinkle as part of love.
Love is not about finding someone that makes you not complain, but about finding someone that you still want to hug even when you are very eager to scold. The good thing is, when in love, we find the strange things of that lovely person. Not perfectly loving someone is not about enduring. But we choose to love the "real" rather than the " dreamy". No longer dreamy, but sympathetic. Not expecting to fix people, but learning to live with the deviation, like living with a pillow stuck inside, but still lying there forever because of the smell.
And the truth is, the other person is also learning to love us in the same way. You think you're perfect? Try asking the person around you if you snore or are messy, sometimes confusing like in French art films. But if people still stay, still choose you every morning when they wake up, that is the best proof: Love does not seek perfect people, but is learning to see the perfect in the messy, awkward things.
In short, love is not about finding the right person, but about looking at that person with a wide enough heart to see that what is not good is also as lovely as what is done. That is the only way to be persistent, happy and called true love. Are you waiting for the perfect one? well, let's live!
