“So don't we dress beautifully for men to admire?” I said.
“You’re wrong. Women dress beautifully not for you but for other women. It’s a secret competition between women about who is more beautiful,” my friend explained.
I think this seems to be true. There was a time when I worked in an office with about 10 employees, mostly men, with only one girl. She, after a few years, always claimed to be… a man, dressed sloppily, and wore light makeup. Everything was normal until another female employee was added and a change began. The only girl dressed differently every day, more feminine, wore more makeup as if to prove: I am the most beautiful person here.
Imagine a girl getting ready for a prom. She stands in front of the mirror and thinks about which dress to choose. I am sure that her final choice is not to be seen by the boys but to stand out from the other girls.
I have an employee who one day wore a pink shirt that looked really nice. Then at lunchtime at the office, another girl appeared with the exact same shirt, as if they had gone to the same shop and bought it at the same time. The girl in the first pink shirt changed color. When I joked about her shirt, she became serious: “I thought it looked nice this morning, but now it’s the ugliest shirt in my closet.”
Women are complex. Basically, people are bound by fears, one of which is the fear of being judged by others. Suffering, torment, and mental exhaustion come from that. Balance is when you overcome that fear to live for yourself.
I still enjoy looking at beautiful women. I am no longer afraid of being judged as a “bad girl”. Because, it seems, at the age of U50, I am... balanced.
