It is not difficult to see families where the wife works outside to earn money, while the husband stays at home to take care of his food and children. In an era of increasingly promoting gender equality, this seems like a natural step forward. But reality shows that this reversal of role comes with many rifts - from social prejudice to silent damage within each individual.
When the husband becomes a "household worker"
Mr. H.V.T (38 years old, in Thanh Hoa City), who used to be an IT employee, decided to quit after his wife was promoted to become the director of a bank branch.
"At first, I thought I could do IT work at home and would support my family better, take care of my children, and take care of my wife's food and drinks so that my wife could work with peace of mind. But gradually I felt like I was redundant in conversations, sometimes even... not knowing who I was anymore.
Mr. T's story is not uncommon. Rehearsing the role in modern marriage is not only a job exchange, but also a redefinition of power, self-worth, and self-respect. The husband, who was used to playing the role of a pillar, has now become a "backing factor" - a position that many people are not ready to accept, even though the reason is reasonable.
Family breadwinner and the invisible pressure on women
On the other hand, it is not easy for the wife to become an economic pillar. They not only have to worry about "getting a salary", but also have to bear the scrutiny of relatives, colleagues, and even their husbands.
Ms. L.T.H (34 years old, a teacher in Thanh Hoa) shared: "My husband has been unemployed for several years, staying at home to look after his children. I love but I'm tired. Every time I meet a class or meet a relative, everyone asks "What is my husband doing", then complaces like I " am so strong that my husband is self-conscious". Sometimes I want to give up.
It is the deep intensity of gender discrimination - that men have to go out to make money, women have to take care of their housework - that has caused families to reverse their roles and be viewed with skeptical eyes, even pitying. Society is not really ready to accept the model of "brother-to-husband" as a normal thing.
When freedom of choice is still accused
The sad thing is, many wives - even though they proactively choose to shoulder the financial burden - are still known as "overwhelming their husbands", "too good for husbands to have no land to live on". As for the husband, if he is happy at home taking care of his children, he is labeled as "holding his wife's dress", "not having the will to advance". As if, anyone who goes against the mold is at fault.
Meanwhile, the nature of modern marriage should be agreement and consensus: Whoever has a better chance will temporarily be the pillar, whoever has the ability to take better care of their children will take a back step - no one is "bigger" than anyone, if both understand, choose and respect each other.
Re-defining fullness in the family
A marriage cannot be sustainable if it is measured by who earns more money, or who stays at home is the weak. true fulfillment only comes when the couple see each other as companions - not considering merits based on old roles, but evaluating them with love, sharing and the ability to adapt to circumstances.
Modern society is changing, and family standards must also change accordingly. The sooner we accept the "reversal" as a natural part of life, the more truly secure those families will be.
Proactiveness in choosing roles should not be considered a failure, but a testament to maturity in love and awareness. In a turbulent world, where the roles of men and women are being reshaped, the only thing to keep is respect and companionship.
