Do you often get angry with your loved one while staying calm in front of strangers? Relationship counselor Kyle Cox (currently Project Director at Triad Baptist Church, responsible for youth programs, coaching and accompanying the younger generation in developing faith and community leadership) said that this phenomenon is more common than you think and comes from the brain mechanism and close relationships.
1. Checking emotional safety
Mr. Kyle Cox explains that the brain works differently depending on the person around it. When around relatives, the brain feels absolutely safe, does not need a "social mask" and allows primitive emotions to express.
On the contrary, in front of strangers, the frontal cortex maintains a state of high vigilance, filtering out initial reactions to avoid judgment. Thanks to deep trust in loved ones, you can be yourself, but at the same time, you are more likely to express anger.
2. Near-activation accumulation
Another reason is the concept of c accumulation of close stimulation. Every small discomfort from relatives every day is stored in the almond loan, creating a library of accumulated emotions.
For example, the chewing or unpleasant habits of your partner can make you angry quickly, while similar behavior from strangers rarely causes a strong reaction.
Long-term intimacy means that the brain accumulates more micro-stimulation, leading to more immediate explosive emotions.
3. Not always out of anger
Sometimes, being angry with a loved one is a way for the brain to relieve stress. According to Kyle Cox, relatives act as a emotional supply post, where you are safe to express and regulate inner pressure.
Arguing is not only about anger but also about releasing stress, helping both of you bond more after emotions are balanced. The nervous system then rewards you with chemicals that help you feel close and calm again.
Being easily angry with relatives but keeping calm with strangers is not a bad sign of personality. It reflects how the brain processes emotions, beliefs, and accumulates stress.
Understanding this mechanism helps you become more aware of your behavior and find ways to regulate emotions to maintain a healthy relationship.
