According to Mr. Jeff Guenther, a relationship counselor working in Portland City (Oregon, USA), in a relationship, not every question should be asked, especially those that are " Attractive" or trigger suspicion.
Here are 8 questions that, in his opinion, we should not ask our partner directly, but can be used to self-assess the level of understanding and cohesion in the relationship.
1. Suppose you discover that your old relationship has broken up because your current lover is secretly intervening, making sure you stay single so that they have a chance to approach you. Does that make you feel romantic or suspicious?
2. Imagine having the opportunity to know all the secrets, big or small, that your lover has hidden from you. Do you want to know the whole truth?
3. If you can ask all of your partner's ex-lover what they don't like about him and what is a warning sign to keep in mind, do you want to know that?
4. If you have three wishes, but there is a 10% chance that your partner will disappear from your life forever, will you dare to trade them off?
5. If you have the ability to eliminate a defect or shortcoming of the other person, what will you choose and why?
6. You only use a time machine once to change something in your current relationship. What will you go back to the past to fix?
7. If you discover that your current lover was hired to date you as part of a social experiment in which attractive people approach those who are considered complete failures, will you forgive them?
8. Imagine someone offering you a large sum of money to prevent you from contacting your lover for a year. What is the minimum amount of money that will make you seriously consider?
According to Jeff Guenther, these questions are not only psychologically challenging but also reflect the level of trust, maturity and willingness to face the assumptions of "if - then" in a relationship.
Although he does not encourage asking these questions directly to the other person, using them to self-examine one's emotions is a very good thing to do.
