In a long-term relationship, there are times when the two still live together under the same roof, still share daily habits and nurture plans for the future, but feel the invisible gap gradually widen, according to hindusttimes.
The fire of love is no longer as brilliant as at first, conversations become shorter, superficial, and the closeness that once came very naturally now gradually fades away, leaving in both of them a feeling of emptiness.
According to relationship expert Jeff Guenther (working at Portland Therapy Center, Oregon, USA), the real cause is not sex or communication, but the feeling of understanding.
Mr. Jeff affirmed: "What makes couples apart is not less talking about love or spending less time together, nor is it because the relationship is too long. The problem is that you no longer feel deeply understood.
Mr. Jeff emphasized that feeling truly listened to and understood is the strongest predictor of happiness in love.
It is not just about knowing what dishes the person likes or what songs they listen to, the more important thing is to clearly understand the insecurities, joys or things that make them feel secure.
When that is lacking, couples gradually become cold, only sharing superficial issues such as schedules or housework without paying attention to the depth of their feelings.
So when we realize that we are no longer understood and noticed in the relationship, what should we do? According to expert Jeff Guenther, don't wait for a moment of miracles to happen, but take the initiative to open your heart, ask deep questions to arouse connection.
Instead of just asking around How are you doing today?, try going further: What made you happy or sad today?. Instead of sitting next to each other watching TV, suggest: What are you thinking about that you dont know yet?. And if you are bold enough, you can ask: When do you feel most loved, and when do you feel invisible?.
Although somewhat private, Jeff believes that curiosity is the key to nurturing cohesion. He emphasized that lasting closeness does not lie in being attached to each other's favorite snacks or programs, but comes from the desire to understand and explore each other over and over again, forever and ever.
