Mr. Cuong (name change is requested) - is the director of a elderly care center in Hanoi. He was the only director who welcomed us - even when we called ourselves reporters, not the one who asked about the "facilities" to prepare to take the old mother to the nursing home.
Mr. Cuong openly leads us to each room of the elderly all over the floors of the house, and different areas. He introduced that the center divides the areas according to 2 criteria, the elderly with serious illnesses and "in beds and paralyzed" will be in a separate area, the rest of the elderly who can walk and do their own activities will be divided according to... personality.
"Whether it is gentle or sociable, we stay in the same room. Those who are "broken" and transgressed will live together. Or, the two of us are compatible and close - we also create conditions for them to live together. Each room has about 4-5 beds. Currently, the center has more than 100 members. The center is always overloaded. The need for children to take their parents to nursing homes is increasing. Currently, I am keeping 30 documents sent by 30 relatives, they are waiting for a place to apply for admission" - Mr. Cuong said.
A lot of worries - comedy
Mr. Cuong said that having been attached to the Center for the care of the elderly in a corner for more than ten years, he has witnessed countless fates, countless lives, countless happiness, suffering, tragedy, and unimaginable things.
The elderly care center is like a miniature society, gathering many classes, many fates, many rich and disadvantaged circumstances, some are retired teachers, some are traders, some were once commune and ward officials, and many of the elderly can no longer remember what they have done...
The most special thing about this miniature society is that this place marks the last stop in human life, each of them is struggling with illness, old age, loneliness, isolation...
The elderly came to the center for many reasons, with all kinds of opportunities to push them.
"Many of the elderly come here because they are sick, sick, and have been bedridden for a long time, and their children cannot take care of them. They are not both skilled and have no time. Hiring someone to take care of it is also very expensive. Some people came because they no longer have relatives. Some people come because their children and grandchildren are all abroad. Some are abandoned. Some people come because they can't live with their children and grandchildren... There are many reasons. Among them, many reasons for hearing it are heartbreaking.
Just a few months ago, I contacted the son of an old man in the center, asking him to pay, because he was a few weeks late. The family has 3 children, they divide the money to pay their father at this center, each for 1 month, taking turns. The first two brothers paid quite fully, but the third brother seemed to have a hard time. The monthly fee is only 7.5 million VND, including all expenses for living, exercising, eating...
But, every time it was his turn, he paid late. The last time I was forced to call, he said, could I give his father less food, and not use other care services, to reduce the money? ... To be honest, I couldn't do that" - Mr. Cuong said.
In 10 years, Mr. Cuong has witnessed all kinds of situations, all kinds of misfortunes and comedies. There are children who take their parents to nursing homes and then never return.
There are people whose children have to call the center to urge them to pay money many times, every time the collection period comes.
However, there are also many happy families.
"Ms. Lan, daughter of Mr. Mo, every time she comes, still buys as much food for all the elderly in the center. The old men were very happy. Mr. Hung also lives in Thuong Tin, he has conditions, always spends money to buy milk to buy diapers, for the elderly, not just his mother. Ms. Minh visits her mother several times a week. She and her daughter and son took turns visiting and buying things for other husbands in the same room... Many people were affectionate and worried about their parents. On holidays, they spend money to organize parties for the elderly... We are very happy. Warmth is still the greatest emotion. Our center is like a big family - Mr. Cuong said, and said that here - a typical miniature society - there are good people, humanity and cruelty, cold.
When parents can still remember
Many old people when going to nursing homes could not remember anything. Those who can remember, they express to us, they miss their family very much.
Mr. Oanh - a cheerful, lively, agile person sitting in the middle of the dining room told a humorous story for the whole room to listen to. When talking to us, he said, there is both joy and sadness here.
Happy to live with old friends, relying on each other. I came here because I didn't want to be a burden to my children, I didn't want them to worry about me. But I am also sad, sad because I am far from home, miss home, miss my children and grandchildren" - Mr. Oanh said.
Mrs. Lan has lived in Nam Dinh for a long time, and her children occasionally visit her. She said, when she still had memories, before her old age was erased, she missed her children and grandchildren, her hometown.
An old woman was separated, sitting alone in the porch, complaining that she had been suffering from bone and joint pain and could not sleep for a while, feeling very tired. When we asked about his family, he said, "I am single".
We would like to take a photo as a souvenir, he laughed, "old, ugly as a ghost, why take a photo".
In the 4-5-bed rooms, many people displayed many photos of their children, their children's wedding photos, photos of their youth, when they could walk agilely, focus on raising children and not be entertained... so that they could put aside the homesickness and remember all the journeys they have gone through in life.
"I have been here for 10 years, I have witnessed countless old men passing away in this center. Every year, there will be losses. Usually, the elderly have come here and will hardly return home. In recent years, due to the general trend, our center has contacted the services for cremation procedures, mausoleums, funerals, etc. Sometimes, family and relatives just need to visit, that's it" - Mr. Cuong said.
