After the marriage ends, the most painful thing for a mother is probably not only the breakup, but also being separated by her ex-husband's family in every way, preventing them from visiting and contacting their children. Therefore, each woman needs to clearly understand the right to raise, care for, and visit their children according to the provisions of law, and at the same time prepare herself with bravery to protect motherhood in the most appropriate way.
Reader Nguyen Thi Huong (character name has been changed, residing in Hanoi) sent a question to Lao Dong Newspaper:
My husband and I have been married for 8 years and have two children. After many conflicts, we divorced. Due to my husband's stable working and economic conditions, the eldest child was handed over to my ex-husband to directly raise.
I think even if we are no longer husband and wife, we will always be your parents. Therefore, I hope to visit, chat and accompany your child regularly.
However, the relationship between me and my ex-husband's family is increasingly tense. Many times I called and texted my child but received no response. When visiting, my ex-husband often finds reasons for me not to see my child.
In the past, my child was very attached to his mother, but after a period of rarely seeing him, I felt that my child became more and more reserved and distant. This makes me very heartbroken. I think that adult conflicts should not cause a child to lose the affection of their father or mother.
Please ask, what is the right of a mother who does not directly raise her child after divorce to visit and contact her child? If continuously being made difficult, what should I do to protect the right to visit my child?
Regarding the question you asked, Doctor of Economics, lawyer Le Ba Thuong - Ho Chi Minh City Bar Association, Director of Dan Luat Tin Thanh Law Company Limited - advises as follows:
After divorce, whether the child is handed over to the father or mother to directly raise, the other person still has full rights and obligations to the child according to the provisions of law. Divorce only terminates the husband and wife relationship, but does not terminate the relationship between parents and children.
Specifically, Article 82 of the 2014 Law on Marriage and Family stipulates that parents who do not directly raise children have the obligation to respect their children's right to live with the person directly raising them; have the obligation to provide child support and have the right and obligation to visit their children without anyone being allowed to obstruct them.
Therefore, if after divorce, the mother does not directly raise the child, the mother still has the right to visit, care for and maintain a romantic relationship with the child. The person directly raising the child as well as family members are not allowed to obstruct the visit, care, nurturing, and education of the child by the person who does not directly raise the child.
In case the ex-husband's family intentionally prevents the mother from meeting, contacting or visiting the child, depending on the nature of the act, the violator may be handled according to legal regulations. Point a, Clause 3, Article 56 of Decree No. 144/2021/ND-CP stipulates a fine of 5 million VND to 10 million VND for the act of preventing family members from meeting relatives with the right and obligation to visit the child after divorce according to the provisions of law.
Therefore, first of all, the mother should proactively exchange with her ex-husband to agree on the time and method of visiting the child, putting the child's rights and psychology above the conflicts between adults. If the exchange does not achieve results and obstruction continues to occur, the mother should keep relevant documents and evidence such as messages, images, exchange content or other documents proving that she is prevented from visiting the child. When necessary, she can request competent authorities in the locality to record the incident to protect her and her child's legitimate rights and interests.
The mother can also request local authorities, the Women's Union or relevant agencies and organizations to support, mediate, and request the party directly raising the child to stop obstructing the right to visit.
In case of prolonged conflicts and obstruction of visits accompanied by issues showing that the person directly raising the child no longer ensures the conditions to directly look after, care for, nurture, and educate the child, the mother has the right to request the Court to consider changing the person directly raising the child according to Article 84 of the Law on Marriage and Family in 2014. When resolving, the Court will consider legal grounds and children's rights in all aspects, not just relying solely on obstructing visits.
The important thing is that parents need to understand that the right to visit after divorce is not simply the right of the father or mother but also directly related to the child's right to maintain affection, care and relationship with both father and mother.
Divorce is the termination of marital relations between two adults, not the termination of paternal or maternal love. Therefore, even if there are still disagreements between the two sides, parents and family members should not turn children into tools to put pressure, retaliate or hurt the other person.
The above is the advice of a lawyer. I hope you have a suitable and lawful solution to both protect the right to motherhood and best ensure the rights and development of your children.
