X - an 18-year-old boy from Can Tho had a childhood associated with screams, beatings and helplessness when witnessing his mother being abused by his father for many years.
As the only child in the family, X soon realized the instability from a very young age. Every time his father was drunk, he became hot-tempered and poured out his anger on his wife. According to X, violence appeared frequently, to the point that he always lived in sudden fear.
Entering grade 6, X began to realize the severity. In an attempt to stop his father from beating his mother, he asked the reason. Instead of stopping, the father continued to beat both mother and child. The pain comes not only from beatings, but also from loneliness when the family on the inside is in trouble with the mother, thinking that she "stimulates her child to get into trouble with her father" and seeing violence as a normal thing to happen. Grandmother even paid a visit because X's mother did not work, considering her being at home to take care of her child as a " profit", causing X's mother to fall into a state of isolation and not receive any understanding.
One time, X accidentally went into her mother's room and discovered that her husband had a suicide note that she had written at different times. In the letter, the mother confided that she wanted to live just enough to raise her child to adulthood, and then end her life after so many years of suffering. Her mother once wanted to take X far away, but because she was afraid that she would "not have a father", she had to continue to endure.
Psychologist To Nhi A commented that the root was X's lack of financial and life autonomy, causing her to be considered a "low factor" in marriage. Society has a misconception when it considers housewives as lethargic, while they have to shoulder all the housework and endure a lot of invisible pressure.
When he was 18 years old, X decided to leave home to go to Ho Chi Minh City to become an independent. He wanted to find an opportunity to build a future so that he could take care of his mother in the future. X admitted that outsiders may think he is living life to the fullest, but the truth is completely different: "No one knows that inside my family".
Despite being deeply hurt, X still hopes that his mother will be brave enough to talk frankly to his father when he is up. He always advised his mother to seek temporary shelter with relatives when his father was drunk, but his mother was too gentle and resistant so she did not follow.
Regarding the view of blaming alcohol, Dr. To Nhi A affirmed that drunkenness is not a reason. According to her, violence comes from disrespect and lack of compassion. A strong man is not someone who is gracious with the fist, but someone who knows how to stay calm, she emphasized.
At the end of the program, X sent a message to fatherly and husbandly relationships: love, control your emotions and spend time with your family. As for his father, he hoped he would change so that his mother could live in peace.
