Lao Dong Newspaper reporter had a conversation with Thu Hoai about family stories she has never told.
When she became famous in volleyball, Thu Hoai repeatedly mentioned that she was opposed by her family and parents to not follow the sport. Until now, has that objection been viewed differently?
- From the past until now, I have always understood that my parents objected because they were worried about me, afraid that their daughter would study volleyball hard and miserable. In addition, the lifespan of an athlete is very short, the period of peak competition only lasts for a certain period of time. After retiring from their career or stopping competing, many athletes do not know what to do next. even disoriented.
Therefore, my parents worry about their daughter on the long journey, how hard it will be when she competes, and what will happen when she stops competing.
My father is a person who loves volleyball very much. But when the Thai Binh women's volleyball team came to the house three times to persuade, the parents still did not agree to let their children follow the sport. Personally, I really liked it, I was only 13 years old at the time, both childish and excited.
There was a teacher in the Thai Binh volleyball team who transferred to work for the Vinh Phuc volleyball team and patiently persuaded me again. I tried to ask my parents to let me go to school, where they provided for everything, from food and accommodation to training, and they also had extra money every month.
My parents saw that I liked it so much that they finally agreed. Dad took me to the Vinh Phuc volleyball team. But, just a month later, I escaped.
At the age of 13, I thought that being in the training team would be fun, but I had to go there to see that the intensity of training with the athletes was truly terrible. I somewhat... broke down, and tried to escape.
A teacher seemed to secretly guess my intention and asked, why did I come home after so many days and bring so many clothes?
I returned to Thai Binh, and it took 2-3 days before I dared to tell my mother, "Or am I not going to join the volleyball team anymore?".
But when preparing for the new school year, I missed the girls on the soccer team and asked to leave. I still remember, that day I had to trick my sister into letting her sleep before leaving (she was very attached to me, if she knew I left the house she would cry).
My mother and uncle took me back to Vinh Phuc. When my mother saw my collective life at the football team, she went to the gate, and I saw her crying. My mother and I cried together.
Ask Thu Hoai a very familiar question, but each person will choose their own way to answer. What role does family play in your career and life?
- My parents love me very much. When I was in Vinh Phuc, even though the football team took care of all aspects of my accommodation and expenses, my parents still sent me an additional 2 million VND every month. At that time, 2 million VND was a huge amount of money.
Until I joined Vietinbank's football team, my income was better. I remember my initial salary was about 5 million VND/month. I only kept a little for personal expenses, and sent the rest back to my mother to keep for her.
I still remember the feeling of those days, always eagerly waiting for the day I received my salary just to send it home to my mother. Because I know that my mother will be happy. I'm also worried that if I keep the money, I'll spend it all. I trusted my mother's ability to manage finances, so I sent it home and asked her to keep it all, until now.
This year's 10th grade literature exam discusses whether we should live too much according to the direction of others, even if they are our parents? Should we become the person our parents want, or, should we become the person we want? What do you think about this?
- I am a very good reader and have read a lot about this topic. That, should we live according to the wishes of others, or live the life we want. I also asked myself the question, am I living according to my parents' expectations, or living as I like?
But no matter how many times I asked that question, in the end I still realized that I was greatly influenced by my parents, from financial management to education to lifestyle.
My mother's image of a woman is deeply ingrained in my subconscious. My mother is very hard-working, workaholic, but very frugal. No matter how much money I send home, my mother will save it for me and never touch it. Even when I told my mother to take that money to spend more at home, she still did not agree.
From past to present, my parents have always worked hard and worked hard so that we and my sisters could have a good life. When I was young, my family owned a famous tailor shop in Quynh Phu district, Thai Binh. Every new school year, or during Tet, my house is crowded with guests, and my parents often work day and night.
My father is a man of few words, but does a lot. He was quiet, diligent, but loved my mother and me deeply. He taught his children how to live independently, and believe in their independence.
My mother often criticized my father for not being romantic, but that was his generation. He often told my sister and I that if we had a baby in the future, we would bring it back to Thai Binh, but he would never let my mother take care of the baby far from home.
I used to think that I would marry a man with the same personality as my father. Strong, talk less, do more, live very responsibly.
Was Thu Hoai's decision to study at the University of Economics (Hanoi National University) also influenced by her family?
- Mom always worried about my studies when I followed volleyball. My mother is afraid that if she doesn't go to college, when she no longer competes, it will be very difficult to find a job and make a living.
Is Thu Hoai becoming the woman her mother wanted, or, becoming someone like her mother?
- I am greatly influenced by my mother, but there are still differences in personality, and I have made her sad many times.
Most recently, during Tet, my mother worked until the 29th of Tet. She worked so much that she looked old, shabby, her health was affected, and her eyes had dark circles. She barely slept for a few hours, not even sleeping to work. I both love and angry about that. So, even though it was during the Tet holidays, I still spoke very nervously to my mother.
My mother and I had a very intense argument, but I thought, if I hadn't gone to that extent, she would still have continued with such a terrible work cycle.
After the argument, my mother worked less, took better care of her health, and recently looked younger. I'm glad about that.
I will be similar to my mother in many ways, but also very different from her.
When you get married in the future, do you hope to have a marriage like your parents?
- Yes, like I said, I once set an image for my boyfriend to have many personality traits like his father.
Recently when I brought my boyfriend home to visit, my father told him, "Hoai has been away from home since he was young, and my aunt and uncle still don't fully understand Hoai's personality. When 13 years old is the age when a personality is formed most clearly, Hoai studied far away from home, so he and I had to get to know each other very carefully."
Dad saying that made me a bit "shocked", because he said, parents don't fully understand girls. Perhaps, that was just a way of saying, when he felt that my boyfriend and I needed to get to know each other carefully.
On Vu Lan holiday, if you could express to your parents the things you want to say most, what would you say?
- Vu Lan is not just a day or a month, but filial piety is every day. Every day is Vu Lan festival for children to repay their parents for their birth and upbringing.
I hope my parents will always be healthy and peaceful so that their children can focus on studying and striving for their own lives. Only when parents are safe and not sick can their children feel secure and take care of their lives.
Economy and material things are not as important as health. I hope parents will stop working, take care of their own health, take care of themselves, and stop working so hard to take care of their children too much.
Many people think that we have to be successful, have to make a lot of money, and have to do great things for our parents to be filial. I don't think so, I think, we just need to be good children and know how to be filial. Studying and striving to make your parents proud, not letting them worry about you, is already filial piety.
In the past, there were many tournaments and I rarely went home. Now that I have more time, I visit home more often. When I go home, I just want to see my parents peaceful, relaxed, enjoying their old age, living peacefully and happily.
