Love becomes pressure
In a relationship, fatigue does not only come from major conflicts. Sometimes, pressure comes from things that seem very small.
After more than 3 years of dating, Ms. Pham Ky Duyen (26 years old, Hanoi) began to feel tired when all her activities were overly cared for by her lover. From where to go, who to meet to the time to reply to messages, she often had to explain to avoid arguments.
There are days when I come home from work very tired, but I still have to text and call for hours. If he says he wants to rest, he thinks I have changed or he no longer loves me," Ms. Pham Ky Duyen shared.
According to Ms. Ky Duyen, the initial arguments only revolved around small things, but gradually made her always feel like she had to be wary and consider every word in the relationship.
Similarly, Mr. Vu Huy Hoang (31 years old, Hanoi) has repeatedly felt exhausted when having to continuously resolve disagreements in love affairs. Busy work makes him need private time, but this desire is often understood by his girlfriend as indifference.
I still love, but sometimes I just want to be quiet for a day. What makes the relationship heavy is not necessarily arguing, but the feeling that it is increasingly difficult for both of us to find a way to be together and still feel comfortable," Mr. Hoang said.
Boundaries are needed so that love does not become pressure.
According to psychologist Hoang Anh - Voice of Therapist Office - feeling tired in love should not be taken lightly, especially when this situation is prolonged and repeated.
If prolonged, insiders may fall into emotional isolation, gradually losing the desire to share or express their needs. They may also misunderstand that they are not compatible with anyone, while the real problem may lie in the lack of healthy boundaries in the relationship," psychologist Hoang Anh said.
Psychologist Hoang Anh believes that each person needs to clearly distinguish their emotions and responsibilities to the other person, instead of trying to solve all problems or meet all expectations in the relationship.
The important thing is to learn how to set emotional boundaries, not embrace the emotions and responsibilities of others. Each person can care for and accompany the person they love, but still need to know what the limits are so as not to put themselves in a state of overload," psychologist Hoang Anh shared.
Private time should also be seen as a normal part of the relationship, instead of being seen as a sign of distance.
You need to allow yourself to have private space without feeling guilty. Loving each other does not mean having to connect continuously. Healthy connection is when each person still has enough energy to listen, share and be together comfortably," psychologist Hoang Anh emphasized.
