Living far from family, many couples face pressure
After getting married, Ms. Nguyen Thi Mai (29 years old, from Quang Ngai) followed her husband to Hanoi to live. Without relatives nearby, the early days of pregnancy and childbirth caused her to fall into a state of pressure many times because she had to manage everything herself.
I used to think getting married far away was just missing home, but when I gave birth to my child, I understood what it feels like not having parents by my side. There are days when my child cries all night, I just know to hug my child and cry along," Ms. Mai shared.
According to Ms. Mai, what helped her overcome the difficult period was her husband's companionship. He proactively shared housework, took care of the children and always took time to listen to his wife's confidences.
I no longer feel lonely. Although far from my parents, my husband makes me feel like I still have a support," Ms. Mai said.
In contrast to Ms. Mai, Ms. Tran Thu Huong (32 years old, from Thanh Hoa) said that her married life once became suffocating when she moved to Ho Chi Minh City to live with her husband.
Due to the nature of her busy work, her husband often goes out early and comes home late. Everything from taking care of children, housework to the pressures in life, she solves herself.
Many times I just need my husband to ask a question "Are you tired today?" but that is also very rare. Being away from family, having no one to share with, I feel lonely right in my own home," Ms. Huong confided.
Ms. Huong shared that what makes the distance heavy is not the distance with her hometown, but the distance in the care between husband and wife.
Geographical distance can become spiritual distance
According to psychologist Mai Viet Duc (Nhan Hoa Viet Counseling and Psychological Therapy Center), many people believe that geographical distance is simply a matter of "going far or near".
However, in marriage, this also reflects the level of support and sharing that each person receives from their partner. Especially, for women living far from their family, the need to be cared for and accompanied is often greater, especially during pregnancy, childbirth or childcare.
When a woman does not have her maternal family nearby, the expectation and need to rely on her husband will be greater. If the husband loves and cares enough, she will feel comforted and deeply connected. But if the husband is ignorant, the geographical distance will turn into a spiritual distance, making women easily fall into loneliness," expert Mai Viet Duc analyzed.
On the contrary, experts also believe that men when having to live away from their families, changing their living environment or moving to a new place with their wives may also face certain psychological pressures. However, due to the trend of rarely expressing emotions, many people choose to remain silent instead of sharing, making the difficulties in the adapting process easily overlooked.
According to experts, geographical distance is not a direct cause of marital breakdown. What keeps couples apart is the lack of listening, empathy and companionship in difficult periods of life.
To maintain cohesion, couples need to actively share emotions, share responsibilities in the family, spend quality time with each other and maintain connection with both families. When both build a sense of security and understanding, spatial distance will no longer be a barrier to marital happiness," expert Mai Viet Duc said.
Expert Mai Viet Duc believes that a sustainable marriage is not decided by whether husband and wife live near or far from family, but by whether each person is willing to become a spiritual support for the other person or not.
When there is love and sharing, geographical distance is only a distance on the map; conversely, if there is no companionship, two people can still feel distant even when living under the same roof.
