Showing off scores online, parents are proud, children are more pressured

Khánh Linh |

The recent high school exam score announcement season was also when social networks were flooded with sky-high scores and countless congratulations.

In the hot midday of July, Ms. Thu Mai (40 years old), a small trader at Lang Son central market, took the opportunity to surf her phone when there were few customers.

On the bulletin board, status lines of relatives and friends showing off their son's exam scores are constantly appearing: "Congratulations to the new student with 27.5 points", "Mother is proud of her son with 28 points"...

Each like, each cheering comment made Ms. Mai feel even heavier. A few days ago, Hoang Yen, her daughter, timidly announced that the total score of three university admission subjects was only 19 points. This score was just enough to pass the graduation exam, but the door to a top university was almost closed.

Seeing many people excitedly discussing throwing a party to celebrate her child's graduation, Ms. Mai silently turned off her phone, a feeling of sadness mixed with a bit of shame and bitterness arose.

Stepping home after a tiring day of business, the dinner tray that should have been when the family gathered turned into a "trial".

Instead of asking if her child is sad, Ms. Mai blurted out resentful words: "How expensive it is to raise and educate them, in the end they are far behind other people's children. Look at that Ms. Tam's child, with sky-high scores, showing off. And you embarrass this family!

Hoang Yen bowed her head, her eyes red, dropped her chopsticks and quietly went back to her room and locked the door. She was already blaming herself for not doing well on the exam, now her mother's words are like knives cutting deep into her self-doubt.

Many days have passed since knowing the score, the atmosphere in the house is quiet and suffocating. Yen's father returned from working as a construction worker tired, seeing his wife grumbling, he also turned to sigh, sighing and blaming his daughter.

This is not just the story of Ms. Mai's family. Many working parents carry the burden of making a living on their shoulders, putting all their expectations on their children's education.

When the results are not as desired, coupled with the pressure from the splendor of "people's children" on social networks, they unintentionally use verbal violence to soothe their own disappointment, pushing children into the brink of loneliness.

Ms. Nguyen Thi Huong (teacher at a high school in Lang Son) shared that the high school graduation exam is an important milestone, but not the only turning point that determines a person's entire life. Especially in the context that the labor market is opening up with many choices such as vocational training, freelance business or participating in the labor force in economic zones.

The female teacher believes that when a door closes, what children need most is not mockery or lame comparisons, but a solid support to regain their spirit.

The psychological wounds caused by parents themselves during this crisis period may follow the children throughout the long journey ahead, creating an invisible barrier separating family feelings.

Khánh Linh
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