Ms. Nguyen Thi Yen, 34 years old, an accountant at a construction company in Thanh Hoa, had gone through a life-threatening marriage while living with her mother-in-law. Not because she is difficult, but because of two generations - two ways of thinking - two lives that collide every day.
Sometimes just because I dont cook soup with the boiling water like my mother, she left a sentence that made me feel sorry for a whole week: In the past, I was a daughter-in-law, where could I be so happy. I cried. But I did not react. I began to observe and learn to understand her. Because I realized that she didn't hate me, she was just afraid of losing her position as a mother."
Knowing how to position "the person who has become a mother" highly
A mother-in-law has been a mother for almost her whole life. She has habits, principles, and ways of thinking that cannot be changed overnight. For young people, it may be outdated. But for her, that is the value of life that has been forged from a lifetime of being a whale.
The smart daughter-in-law did not try to "re-teach her mother-in-law", but chose to understand and behave appropriately. The core is not changing others, but adjusting yourself to keep the air together, without losing personal value.
Know how to listen but don't forget to keep the limits
Patience is not weakness. Not a harsh reaction is strong. Maintaining a relationship, especially the mother-in-law relationship, requires sophistication between listening and perseverance.
Women can listen and be lenient, but they also need to know how to say no at the right time, preserve living space, how to take care of children, and things related to privacy. Every line needs to be established with softness, not confrontation.
Skilled in words and behavior - the sophistication of a calm person
Not the dishes, not the "right" words, what makes the mother-in-law feel respected is the sincere care from the smallest things: "Mom, take a break?", "Mom, what do you want to eat for me to cook?", "Mom, let me go to the market tomorrow?".
When a woman knows how to use words as a thread connecting two hearts, when loving actions are maintained persistently, conflicts will no longer have a place to live.
tolerance - the golden key
Many people ask: Who is right, who is wrong in the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? But the truth is, when women are tolerant, that question is no longer important.
Collateral is not an offer. It is big enough not to lose in small things. It is enough to understand that happiness does not lie in winning an argument, but lies in the peace in the roof of the house you are living in.
"There were days when my mother-in-law and I went to the market together, cooked together, and played together. I no longer see her as a discomfort, but see her as a mother trying to protect her motherhood role as she knows - Ms. Yen shared.
The mother-in-law - the bride - is not a natural enemy, nor does she need to become a close friend. But as soon as each person steps towards each other a little, learning to put their heart in the position of another person, all differences can be resolved with respect, patience and love.
