Single mother unexpectedly meets foreign boyfriend again

Reader T.T. V (in Quang Ninh) asked: "I am 28 years old this year, a single mother of a son over 3 years old. This is the result of a love affair with a foreign colleague.

5 years ago, I worked for a non-governmental project on forest conservation and development funded by foreign countries. Here, I met my foreign boyfriend. He is intelligent, open, cheerful and always wholeheartedly for everyone.

Initially, we were just ordinary colleagues. In work, he helped me a lot. The more I worked, the more he attracted me, not only because of my handsome appearance and witty talk but because of my extensive knowledge of the field I was pursuing. For a girl who left university not long ago, he was a treasure trove of knowledge for me.

Work trips, days of wading through the forest have made us closer and closer. After a while, he and I became lovers. Actually, at that time I knew all the projects he would return to the country, it was difficult to plan long-term. However, before a man as attractive as him, I could not resist the vibrations of my heart.

When we were in love for 1 year, the project ended. My boyfriend returned to the country and there was no promise either. From the beginning, I had determined that this day would come, so even though I was really sad, I didn't cry or hold on in front of him.

Since my lover returned to the country, I have buried myself in work to try to forget the sadness. Suddenly, 2 months later, I found out I was pregnant. I was really confused because from when we were in love until we broke up, I didn't ask my lover's address, I only knew he lived in Boston. I thought a lot and decided to keep the pregnancy and give birth to a chubby son.

The older he got, the more the boy looked like the man I had loved. Perhaps God pitied my mother and me, so he accidentally let that man travel to Vietnam and visit his old workplace. When he asked everyone about me, I found out that I had given him a son.

Meeting me again, looking at his son as a miniature copy of himself, he was very surprised. After talking, he said he wanted to recognize his son and I myself also wanted my son to know his roots. Please ask, what procedures do I have to follow for my son to recognize his father? How long will it take to resolve this matter? I would like to get advice.

Regarding the legal issue you asked, lawyer Duong Thu Hien - Thanh Lam Law Company Limited (Hanoi Bar Association) - advises as follows:

Clause 1, Article 101 of the Law on Marriage and Family in 2014 (amended and supplemented in 2025) stipulates the authority to resolve the determination of father, mother, and child:

Article 101. Authority to resolve the determination of father, mother, and child

1. The civil status registration agency has the authority to determine father, mother, and child according to the provisions of the law on civil status in cases where there is no dispute.

Article 43 of the 2014 Law on Civil Status Registration stipulates the authority to register to recognize fathers, mothers, and children as follows:

Article 43. Authority to register for recognition of fathers, mothers, and children

The District People's Committee where the residence of the person recognized as father, mother, or child shall carry out registration of recognition of father, mother, or child between Vietnamese citizens and foreigners; between Vietnamese citizens residing in the country and Vietnamese citizens residing abroad; between Vietnamese citizens residing abroad with each other; between Vietnamese citizens who simultaneously have foreign nationality with Vietnamese citizens or with foreigners; between foreigners with one or both parties residing permanently in Vietnam.

Article 4 of Decree No. 120/2025/ND-CP dated June 1, 2025 of the Government stipulating the demarcation of authority of local authorities at 02 levels in the field of state management of the Ministry of Justice stipulates as follows:

Article 4. Right to register civil status

Commune, ward, and special zone People's Committees (hereinafter referred to as commune-level People's Committees) exercise the authority to register civil status specified in Clause 2, Article 7, Chapter III of the 2014 Law on Civil Status (hereinafter referred to as the Law on Civil Status), Articles 1, 29, 31, 32, 33, 35, 36, 38, 39 and 41 of Decree No. 123/2015/ND-CP dated November 15, 2015 of the Government detailing a number of articles and measures to implement the Law on Civil Status amended and supplemented in 2020, 2022, 2025 (hereinafter referred to as Decree No. 123/2015/ND-CP); authority to exploit the Electronic Civil Status Database, confirm civil status information specified in Article 8 of Decree No. 87/2020/ND-CP dated July 28, 2020 of the Government regulating the Electronic Civil Status Database, online civil status registration amended and supplemented in 2025.

Article 5 of Decree No. 120/2025/ND-CP dated June 1, 2025 of the Government stipulates as follows:

Article 5. Resolving civil status registration

1. Individuals have the right to choose to carry out administrative procedures on civil status at the civil status registration agency where they reside; the place of residence of the individual is determined according to the provisions of the law on residence.

In case individuals choose to carry out administrative procedures on civil status not at the commune-level People's Committee where they are permanently residing or temporarily residing, the commune-level People's Committee where they receive the request is responsible for supporting people to submit online civil status registration dossiers to the competent authority according to regulations.

2. People requesting birth registration, death registration, recognition of fathers, mothers, children, guardianship registration, registration of changes, termination of guardianship, registration of supervision of guardianship, termination of supervision of guardianship, registration of changes, correction, supplementation of civil status, re-determination of ethnicity are not required to be present at the civil status registration agency to sign the Civil Status Book.

3. The order and procedures for civil status registration are implemented according to the regulations in Section I of the Appendix issued with this Decree.

Thus, in case you and your foreign boyfriend both want to determine the father for the child, and the parties do not have a dispute, according to the provisions of law, you two need to submit a dossier requesting registration of father and child recognition at the commune-level People's Committee.

The person requesting registration for recognition of fathers, mothers, and children submits a declaration according to the prescribed form and documents, objects or other evidence to prove the relationship between fathers and children or mothers and children to the civil status registration agency. In case of registering for recognition of fathers, mothers, and children between Vietnamese citizens and foreigners, they must submit a copy of the passport or valuable papers to replace the passport to prove their identity according to Article 44 of the 2014 Law on Civil Status Registration. People requesting registration for recognition of fathers, mothers, and children can submit dossiers directly at the Public Administrative Service Center, send via the postal system or submit dossiers online at the National Public Service Portal or the National Identification Application.

Regarding the order and procedures, they are implemented according to Section I of the Appendix issued together with Decree No. 120/2025/ND-CP dated June 1, 2025 of the Government, specifically:

I. Order and procedures for registering civil status

1. Commune-level People's Committees receive and resolve civil status registration specified in Article 4 of this Decree according to the order and procedures specified in Articles 36, 38, 40, 41, 42, 44, 47, 49, 50 and 52 of the Law on Civil Status; Article 9, Article 10, articles from Article 29 to Article 42 of Decree No. 123/2015/ND-CP and the following regulations:

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c) The deadline for resolving procedures for registering to recognize fathers, mothers, and children is 10 working days from the date of receiving complete and valid dossiers.

The deadline for verifying and posting the recognition of fathers, mothers, and children at the headquarters of the Commune-level People's Committee where the authority to resolve is is 05 working days. The posting deadline at the headquarters of the Commune-level People's Committee where the person who is recognized as father, mother, or child is 05 working days.

Thus, according to current legal regulations, the deadline for resolving procedures for registering to recognize fathers, mothers, and children is 10 working days from the time of receiving complete and valid dossiers. Functional agencies will carry out verification and listing of information according to regulations before completing the procedures.

The above is the advice of the lawyer, wishing you to soon resolve your problems.