Mother forces daughter to break up with boyfriend for incompatibility of age may be prosecuted for criminal liability

Reader P.T (in Bac Ninh) asked: "My boyfriend and I have been in love for 5 years. The relationship is very good and we have gone home to meet both parents. My parents really like him, and we are also planning to get married at the end of this year.

However, during the recent Tet holiday, my mother went to see a fortune teller. About her, she said that the fortune teller said we were not compatible in age and were incompatible with each other.

From then on, my mother objected, forcing me to break up with my boyfriend to marry my mother's best friend's son. My mother told the teacher that this friend's personality is very compatible in age. If we marry each other, the two of us will have a prosperous life, do business smoothly and have talented children.

When I objected, my mother got angry, saying that I had betrayed her efforts in giving birth and raising her. My mother also said she would "give up" me if I still deliberately clung to "that guy" (that is, my boyfriend). My mother also did all sorts of things to force us to break up. She went to my boyfriend's house to talk, asking them to force her son to break up. She asked my best friend to intervene and then repeatedly fasted, refused to drink, and when sick, refused to go to the hospital to put pressure on me.

My family atmosphere is always heavy and tense now. I am under heavy pressure, I am not in the mood to work, causing my boss to reprimand me. I have headaches, insomnia, and when I went to the doctor, they said I was mildly depressed. My boyfriend is also stressed, confused and worried.

Now what should I do to make my mother understand, to get rid of such baseless imposing thoughts. Is my mother forcing me to marry someone I don't love just to be "aged compatible" a violation?

I would like to get advice from a lawyer.

Regarding the legal issue you asked, Lawyer Duong Thu Hien - Thanh Lam Law Company Limited - advises as follows:

Clause 9, Article 3 of the Law on Marriage and Family 2014, amended and supplemented in 2025 stipulates: "9. Coercion of marriage and divorce is the threat, mental intimidation, torture, abuse, claim of property or other acts to force others to marry or divorce against their will.

Clause 10, Article 3 of the Law on Marriage and Family 2014, amended and supplemented in 2025 stipulates: "10. Obstruction of marriage and divorce is the threat, psychological intimidation, torture, abuse, claim of property or other acts to prevent the marriage of a person who is eligible for marriage under the provisions of this Law or to force another person to maintain a marriage relationship contrary to their wishes.

Point b, Clause 2, Article 5 of the Law on Marriage and Family 2014, amended and supplemented in 2025 stipulates:

Article 5. Protecting the marriage and family regime

2. Prohibit the following acts:

b) Child marriage, forced marriage, marriage fraud, obstruction of marriage;

You and your lover have been together for 5 years, the two families have been together and are planning to get married. Now your mother only believes in a fortune teller and obstructs and forces you to break up with your lover. Your mother also wants you to marry your best friend's son because he is "a compatible age". Not only that, your mother also has acts such as going to your lover's house to divide, asking your best friend to influence or taking actions to create pressure to force you to break up with your lover. Your mother's actions in this case are acts of forced marriage, obstructing marriage that are prohibited according to the provisions of the Law on Marriage and Family 2014, amended and supplemented in 2025.

Clause 3, Article 5 of the Law on Marriage and Family 2014, amended and supplemented in 2025 stipulates: "3. All acts of violating the law on marriage and family must be handled strictly and in accordance with the law.

Agencies, organizations, and individuals have the right to request the Court or other competent agencies to promptly apply measures to prevent and handle people who violate the law on marriage and family.

Point d, clause 1, point c, clause 2, Article 59 of Decree No. 82/2020/ND-CP dated July 15, 2020 of the Government stipulates:

Article 59. Acts violating regulations on marriage, divorce and violating the monogamy regime

1. A fine of between VND 3,000,000 and VND 5,000 shall be imposed for one of the following acts:

...

e) Obstructing marriage, demanding wealth in marriage or obstructing divorce.

2. A fine of between VND 10,000,000 and VND 20,000,000 shall be imposed for one of the following acts:

...

c) Forced marriage or marriage deception; forced divorce or divorce deception;

Based on Article 181 of the 2015 Penal Code stipulates:

Article 181. Crime of coercion of marriage, divorce or obstruction of voluntary, progressive marriage, obstruction of voluntary divorce

Anyone who coerces others to marry against their will, obstructs others from marrying or maintaining voluntary, progressive marital relations, or coerces or obstructs others from divorcing by torturing, mistreating, mentally intimidating, demanding wealth or by other means, and has been administratively sanctioned for this act but still violates, shall be subject to a warning, non-custodial reform for up to 03 years or imprisonment from 03 months to 03 years.

Thus, for acts of obstructing marriage, a fine of between 3,000,000,000 VND and 5,000,000,000 VND will be imposed, and for acts of coercive marriage, a fine of between 10,000,000,000 VND and 20,000,000,00 VND will be imposed. In case after being administratively sanctioned for this act, they continue to violate, they will be subject to a warning, non-custodial reform for up to 03 years or imprisonment from 03 months to 03 years.

To solve the problem without affecting family harmony, you should ask relatives in the family to talk and analyze with your mother. It is necessary to analyze so that your mother understands that hindering marriage not only ruins her child's happiness but may also be an act of violating the law. When she understands that her actions are wrong, even may violate the law, she may change her perspective.

The above is the advice of the lawyer. Wishing you to soon solve your problems.