Discipline for nurturing personality, not controlling children
Family psychology studies show that parents' way of setting rules and enforcing discipline directly affects children's personality. Dr. Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley (USA), who laid the foundation for the theory of parenting styles, points out that: effective discipline is not punishment, but a combination of love and clear limits.
According to Ms. Baumrind, children who grow up in a disciplined environment often develop positive characteristics such as autonomy, responsibility, knowing how to control emotions and respect others. Conversely, when discipline changes erratically, children easily fall into a state of anxiety and unpredictability, leading to resistance or withdrawal.
In the family, discipline is shown through very small things: bedtime, how to use the phone, attitude when talking to adults, or fulfilling personal responsibilities. When parents are steadfast in the principles set out, children learn that any behavior comes with consequences, thereby forming a sense of responsibility.
Lack of discipline or excessive harshness all leave psychological marks
A common mistake is to assume that strict discipline will create obedient children. In fact, imposed, unexplained discipline often only creates fear, not understanding.
Dr. Laurence Steinberg, professor of psychology at Temple University (USA), said that children who grow up in too harsh environments are at high risk of problems with anxiety, self-doubt and difficulty making decisions when they grow up. “They are used to following orders, but are not taught how to think independently,” Mr. Steinberg said.
In the opposite direction, lack of discipline and excessive indulgence also have consequences. Children who are not taught to limit themselves often find it difficult to control their emotions, easily get angry, lack patience and have difficulty integrating into a collective environment such as schools or workplaces later.
Character does not form overnight. It is the result of thousands of small interactions between parents and children. A calm reminder can teach children responsibility. An unreasonable scolding can sow fear in children that lasts for many years.
Discipline does not lose love. Conversely, it is the most responsible way of loving that parents can give to their children.
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