On the morning of the Doan Ngo Tet, Ms. Minh Anh, 27 years old, from Phu Tho woke up early to receive a tray of offerings ordered from the previous day. The offering tray had enough rice, glutinous rice wine, fruits, sweet soup, sticky rice, boiled chicken, and banh tro.
Thinking everything was done, she did not expect her mother-in-law to turn away her smile when she saw the bag of food delivered to the door.
On Tet in the house, everything is set up in advance like this, what's left of the family atmosphere," she said and then turned to the kitchen.
Minh Anh is a communications staff, often working late. Her husband is also busy, and her young child is just over one year old.
Before the Doan Ngo Tet, she calculated that if she cooked herself, she would have to go to the market early, boil chicken, cook sticky rice, prepare fruits, and clean the kitchen: "I think ordering a feast does not mean lack of sincerity. The important thing is that the family still has a decent offering tray, and everyone is less tired.
But for her mother-in-law, Tet in the family is not only about the feast on the altar, but also about the smell of new sticky rice, the sound of knives and cutting boards in the kitchen, the scene of children and grandchildren gathering to wash leaves, peel fruit, and arrange each bowl and pair of chopsticks.
She does not oppose modern life, but also clearly shows unhappiness when seeing her daughter-in-law ordering ready-made offerings.
I understand that for many elderly women, preparing offerings is part of the duty of being a daughter-in-law, wife, and mother. The more decent the offering tray, the more it shows thoughtfulness towards ancestors and the cohesion of the family.
As for many young people, especially married couples living in urban areas, when the pressure of work, children and living expenses is heavy, they choose to simplify housework to maintain health and spirit," Ms. Minh Anh confided.
After a stressful morning, Minh Anh's husband had to stand up and talk to his mother.
He explained that his wife had prepared in advance, not to rush to order until close to the hour to finish. He also admitted that husband and wife should have asked their mother for advice, or at least prepared some familiar dishes for the family with their mother.
He also said that this afternoon, Minh Anh needs to take the initiative to go to the kitchen with her mother-in-law to cook a small meal. At the same time, he advised his wife later to still order some elaborate dishes, but will personally prepare rice wine, fruits and sweet soup that her mother-in-law likes.
She also calmed down, saying that if the children were busy, it was not necessary to make a big meal, as long as there was still discussion and care together in the house.
Doan Ngo Tet is originally an occasion for families to reunite, remember customs and take care of spiritual life. Home-cooked feasts can be warm, but feasts placed outside should not lack sincerity because of that.
More importantly, it is the way family members recognize each other's efforts.
