Master of Psychology Nguyen Minh Duyen (Center for Psychology and Human Development NHC Vietnam) explains the reasons why arranging time to go to the husband's and wife's families during holidays can easily become a cause of marital conflict.
Collision between two systems of values and family responsibility
Each person grows up in a family with different lifestyles and perceptions. During long holidays, responsibility to both families is often placed higher, easily leading to conflicts between the desire to be filial to parents and the need for each person to balance time.
Feeling unfair when dividing time
If vacations are continuously prioritized for one side, paternal or maternal, the other may feel that they and their family are not valued. When this feeling of injustice lasts, it is easy to create resentment and become the cause of arguments.
Silent conflicts easily revealed during vacation
On weekdays, work and private schedules can make husband and wife have less time to face disagreements. However, when holidays increase interaction time, differences in living, spending, housework or childcare are easily brought up again.
Silence, concession accumulated into resentment
A person can choose to remain silent or yield to maintain harmony, but feelings of self-pity and not being respected can still exist. When the pressure during the holiday increases, even a small disagreement can cause conflict to break out.
Recess needs contrast with family obligations
After a tiring period of work, one person may want to rest or travel, while the other wants to return to their hometown to visit their family. Traveling, partying, cleaning, and preparing feasts can make the vacation stressful if the two of you do not agree on how to arrange it.
