Wedding envelope problem
An acquaintance once spent nearly half an hour just to think about how much money to put in a wedding envelope. The invitee was an old colleague, who had worked together for about 1 year, then each person went to a different place. The two sides still occasionally interacted on social networks but had not spoken privately for a long time. 500,000 VND, he found it a bit little. One million VND seems like a lot compared to the current level of closeness. Finally, he texted another person who was also invited: "How much do you want to go?". The answer was 1 million VND, with a rather familiar reason: "When I got married, he also went for 1 million".
A very simple task of sending congratulations suddenly becomes a calculation consisting of many factors: How close are the two sides, how much the other person has congratulated you, how much friends in the group will go, if you go less, will you be considered unenthusiastic or not? The problem here is that the congratulatory money at that time is no longer simply a sum of money, but becomes a "message" about the relationship.
Perhaps because of this, the question "is 500,000 VND wedding money suitable at this time?" is very difficult to have a common answer. For acquaintances, colleagues or social relationships, 500,000 VND may still be a reasonable level. For close relatives, people with conditions may want to celebrate more. But for students, workers, people raising young children or having many expenses, 500,000 VND is not a small amount. It is worth mentioning that in many cases, people no longer decide based on their ability but based on the question: "How much will others go?".
Lucky money becomes the price of a meal?
That pressure is even clearer when the cost of organizing a wedding is increasing. Many people tell stories of attending parties, giving away 500,000 VND and then listening to guests sitting next to them calculate that a feast can cost more than 5 million VND, with expensive dishes, if many people go together for 500,000 VND, the homeowner will "lose".
But wedding money is essentially still a gift for the bride and groom, not money to pay for a meal. Families have the right to choose luxury restaurants, expensive menus, elaborate stages or a simple wedding depending on conditions and wishes. However, the choice of organization scale belongs to the homeowner, so it is difficult to use the price of the feast as a basis to determine how much guests should celebrate.
In fact, the amount of congratulatory money has changed over time. If about 10 years ago, 200,000 VND could be considered a popular level, now 500,000 VND has become a familiar choice; for weddings held in large hotels, many people choose the level of 800,000 VND or 1 million VND or more. However, the increase in service prices does not mean that everyone's income also increases correspondingly.
An office worker earns 12 - 15 million VND/month, if they receive 4-5 wedding invitations in 1 month, congratulatory money alone can account for a significant part of their income. For workers or people with lower salaries, 500,000 VND is even more worth considering. That is not to mention house rent, tuition fees for children, electricity and water, parental care and many daily expenses. If a wedding invitation makes the recipient struggle to cut back on necessary needs or borrow money to get an envelope "for beauty", perhaps the meaning of the invitation to share joy has been somewhat distorted.
Affection becomes a "debt book
Another fairly common habit is to remember very carefully how much this person once congratulated you. That is not necessarily bad. Remembering a favor and wanting to reciprocate correspondingly is normal behavior. But it would be different if every wedding becomes a cycle of "how much they go, how much I have to return".
So recently, on social networks, there was a story that was shared and debated quite a lot, an account posted: "10 years ago I borrowed 2 million from a friend. Now at my wedding, the friend gave a non-core envelope, only with a "debit" paper. Why is there someone calculating and selfish?". Attached to the article is a picture of a wedding envelope inside without cash but only with a paper stating the content "Don't be in debt, friend!".
Many opposing opinions. Some people think that "deducting debt from wedding money" is completely understandable, even quite easy if placed in the context that the loan has been prolonged for 10 years without being repaid. Even many people affirm that the account holder is "making big profits" because 2 million VND at the time around 2015 - 2016 was not a small number. For many students or new employees at that time, this could be enough money to pay tuition or living expenses for a long time. Meanwhile, 2 million VND is no longer a large amount of money.
Of course, if you research carefully, you can see that this is a type of "content" that creates content to cause controversy in order to increase interaction. However, from a certain perspective, similar situations still occur in life.
So how should you behave when celebrating a wedding? Perhaps first of all, the wedding attendees should be free to decide within their ability. 500,000 VND is still a suitable amount in many cases.
500,000 VND, 1 million VND or more are ultimately just numbers. What should be kept is the meaning of the congratulatory gift: Sharing joy within your ability, not calculating like buying a meal.
