Endless thought wheel
Many young people today admit that they have fallen into a state of overthinking in love.
For Minh Hanh (22 years old, student), every slow reply message from her lover becomes a suspicious sign.
Just because he read the message without replying immediately, I have imagined a series of scenarios such as no more love, someone else or hiding something from me," shared Minh Hanh.
Similarly, Tuan Khang (24 years old, office worker) also once made his relationship tense just because of overthinking.
My girlfriend only said she was busy, but I thought she was avoiding it. I kept asking and checking and finally made her feel pressured," Khang said.
The common point of both is that emotions are led by unverified inferences. Repeated negative thoughts not only make them lose their composure but also make the relationship heavy. Instead of enjoying love, they are trapped in the vortex of doubt and anxiety.
Overthinking stems from emotional insecurity
In fact, overthinking in love often stems from emotional insecurity, fear of being abandoned, or negative experiences in the past.
When they cannot control their thoughts, people easily exaggerate the problem, misunderstand the other person's actions and unintentionally push the relationship to the brink of tension.
According to psychologist Nguyen Manh Cuong (NHC Vietnam Center for Human Development and Psychology), controlling overthinking in love is not impossible, but requires proactiveness from each individual.
The important principle in love is calmness in response. When problems occur, instead of reacting immediately according to emotions, each person needs to observe and identify the situation. Pausing helps reduce negative thoughts and avoid impulsive actions," expert Nguyen Manh Cuong shared.
In addition, it is necessary to proactively find out the accuracy of the information.
When the other person gives unclear information, asking back frankly and gently will help limit misunderstandings. Inductions only make the distance between two people greater, while clear communication is the key to building trust," expert Manh Cuong said.
In addition, for sensitive emotional issues, experts recommend prioritizing direct meetings for exchange.
Direct communication not only helps understand words but also feels the attitude, emotions and energy of the other person. This helps minimize misunderstandings and better control negative thoughts," expert Manh Cuong added.
More importantly, everyone needs to learn how to build safety from within. When people are confident in their own values and trust in relationships, they will be less drawn into unnecessary spirals of thought," expert Manh Cuong emphasized.
