From a series of billboards giving out the messages, "I just want to be carefree", "Mom less expectations/Mom less pressure", "Mom, whose wish is the championship? , "The more mother demands, the more tired I am"... have arisen a series of controversies across forums about the pressure of children.
The question is, how much pressure are children under, is it true that the pressure is all created by parents? Since when have parents had to become the villain in their children's dreams?
Mom and Dad are not "pressure villains"
The message from the billboards (which have had to be removed) has been effectively nurtured and arose in public opinion for a long time. That mothers (and even fathers) are the ones who "force" their children to study, force them to fulfill their dreams, that medals - a symbol of success - are the desire of parents, not children.
On forums, many parents shared that they felt sad and blamed after seeing the messages (which were gradually taking shape like prejudices) exaggerated on the advertising board.
Ms. Hanh Nguyen (Cau Giay, Hanoi) shared that her daughter is 10 years old this year, and she has a great passion for chess. No one in the family or parent likes chess. However, with her own passion, Ms. Hanh's daughter has registered to participate in many tournaments and is eager to win medals... Ms. Hanh Nguyen said, "My child's story is just a small case, not representing the majority. But, I believe that there are many children who grow up with their own dreams, aspirations, and passions. Since childhood, they have been eager to conquer and feel happy to achieve results. No child is like any child. Not all medals are forced by parents".
Talking to Lao Dong reporter, Dr. Pham Thi Thuy - lecturer at the Ho Chi Minh City branch of the National Academy of Public Administration, psychological consultant at the Ho Chi Minh City Women's Cultural House, said that the older generation of children today is under pressure from many sides.
The changing era itself is a pressure, Gen Z, Gen Alpha are growing up in a completely different era compared to the parents' generation 7X, 8X. Learning with 7X, 8X is certainly not as strict as with Gen Z, Gen Alpha now.
Especially in big cities, education must continuously be reformed to reduce the pressure on children. The pressure to study comes from schools, from the achievements of competition between classes, between friends, from exams with great competitiveness, not just from family and parents.
Mom and Dad are companions
Ms. Nguyen Nga (Hai Ba Trung) gave her opinion: "I once took my child to take the public 10th grade entrance exam. Many people are comparing it to a war. This "war" is fierce because the number of public schools is very small compared to the number of students taking the exam. The pressure from this competition is huge. This pressure is not caused by your mother or father? Due to life, due to society, due to many factors - that the children themselves have to face and try.
I have seen many fathers and mothers accompanying, cheering and encouraging my children in the exams. They shed tears when watching their children study stressed. So, do not be prejudiced that any parent puts pressure on their child or forces them to fulfill their dreams."
According to Dr. Pham Thi Thuy, the case of families placing high expectations on their children's shoulders, taking their children to many extra classes, setting for them the goal of surpassing their children's abilities - is true, but belonging to a small number, not representing all.
Dr. Pham Thi Thuy believes that if we look at it more broadly, the pressure and expectations are only blameworthy when they are beyond our ability. At an appropriate level, pressure - expectations are also a factor that helps children strive and mature.
"Parents may have high expectations for their children, but when children have dreams, they can even put pressure on themselves to work hard. What parents can do is balance pressure and expectations, and listen to their children more.
Parents should find out what their children need, can do, and prefer, thereby stimulating and setting reasonable goals.
Parents must be the one who understand their children to shape their children's dreams to suit their family's conditions and their abilities," said Dr. Pham Thi Thuy.
