Pregnancy is inherently a journey full of joy, but for many young families, the process of taking care of pregnant mothers according to traditional experience becomes a pressure.
Differences in prenatal care views have led to conflicts in many families.
Ms. Nguyen Thu Trang (28 years old, from Thai Nguyen) said that since becoming pregnant, her daily life has changed according to her mother-in-law's arrangement.
My mother always reminds me to eat a lot, every day she stews nutritious foods such as pig trotters and pigeons.
But I can't eat it, and I'm afraid of gaining weight quickly, affecting my health. When I explained, my mother said I had to eat for two people, so many times I felt very pressured," Ms. Trang confided.
According to Ms. Trang, not only eating, dieting also causes many inconveniences in daily life. Grandparents often say that you should limit walking and exercising, including light work.
Also according to Ms. Trang, the thing that makes her most embarrassed is the way she gives advice. If the doctor advises to supplement diverse nutrition and control weight, the mother-in-law always urges her to eat more.
If I speak softly, my mother won't listen, if I speak frankly, I'm afraid of offending her. Many times I just know to remain silent and follow to calm things down, but in my heart I'm very tired because I can't take care of myself proactively.
The reasoning given by grandparents is usually that there is a lot of experience, in the past, people still took care of their children like that and they all grew up healthy," Ms. Trang confided.
In the same situation, Mr. Tran Hoang Nam (30 years old, from Tuyen Quang) said that his wife and he often fall into a difficult position when the views between the two generations are not consistent.
My wife wants to take care of pregnancy in a scientific direction, from eating to daily routine, all according to the doctor's advice.
But my parents believe in folk remedies, such as abstaining from bathing at night, abstaining from some foods, or having to eat a lot to keep my child healthy," Mr. Nam shared.
According to him, conflicts often start from very small things. Sometimes it's just about what to eat and drink, but each person has their own opinion. Such things are repeated a lot, making the family atmosphere quite tense.
Reality shows that when generations have different approaches to prenatal care, small conflicts easily accumulate. For many young families, the most difficult thing is not only choosing the right method, but also finding a way to maintain balance and harmony in the family.
According to psychologist Mai Viet Duc - Nhan Hoa Viet Psychological Counseling and Therapy Center, sometimes for grandparents, it is the experience of successfully raising children in the past. For young parents, it is the responsibility to protect their children with new scientific knowledge.
When both of you believe you are doing well, conflicts are no longer about eating, sleeping, and dressing, but become conflicts about values and decision-making power in the family," expert Duc said.
Also according to expert Mai Viet Duc, in families of many generations, boundaries need to be defined, grandparents are the ones who support and accompany. Parents are the main people responsible for decisions related to their children.
Young parents should avoid direct confrontation, instead show respect and exchange. The consensus between husband and wife before exchanging with grandparents is also an important factor to reduce conflict.
