In the journey of becoming a parent, many people often unconsciously over- covet their children - with the hope that their children will not have to suffer, not fail. But life did not follow the good wishes of his parents. I will grow up and face a world of injustice, not as gentle as the family's arms. The most important thing is not to prevent adversity from happening, but to train children on how to overcome adversity with their own internal strength.
1. Teaching children to understand adversity correctly
adversity is not a "disaster", but a part of life - where people are forced to grow up. If from a young age, children are taught that "failure is normal", "falling is learning to stand up", then every time they experience something unsatisfactory, children will not panic or lose direction.
Parents telling their children about the examples of those who have failed but still rise up - is not to create pressure to succeed, but to let them see that: no one is perfect from the beginning. And so, children have the right to make mistakes and fall, as long as they know how to learn from them.
Thinking about adversity is the first thing that needs to be educated, first of all knowledge and skills.
2. Teach your children to get acquainted with challenges
No one is born with courage. Courage is formed through countless sets of practice in difficult situations.
Parents can "legend up" in daily life with small but real challenges: letting their children resolve a conflict with friends, planning a picnic by themselves, taking responsibility for a complicated housework... When the child is used to the feeling of trying - failing - trying again, then later facing a "real change", the child will no longer feel lonely and helpless.
Most importantly: parents should not intervene too early, do not housework, and not "rescue" their children before they really need them.
3. Equip your child with skills to avoid being left behind
A child lacking basic skills can easily feel helpless when faced with difficulties. Many parents are too worried about their children having high grades and good schools, but forget the more important thing: do they know how to self-study, self-arrange, self-report, self-care their emotions and relationships?
Don't just ask your child "how many points are you studying today?" - ask your child: "What difficulties have you handled today alone?", "What can you learn when you have that problem?".
When children have real ability, they not only overcome adversity but also know how to learn from adversity to mature.
4. Heal your child with love
In an increasingly strict society, what young people need is not judgment or advice, but a space for understanding.
If your child feels inferior because of the low score, instead of saying, Why did you study so poorly?, ask, What is the reason why I didnt study well today?
If you are sad because your appearance is criticized by friends, don't say: "Let someone go", but gently say: "You are very special in your way".
Love words are not "attractive", but "affect human values". From there, he built a strong inner heart to fight against prejudice and judgment.
5. Teach your children to cope instead of giving up
When children are hurt, the most dangerous thing is that they do not know what to do with their emotions: do not know how to share, do not know how to calm down, do not know how to convert them into positive actions. Without the skills to respond, children can choose dangerous ways: prolonged silence, emotional explosion, rebellion, and even giving up.
Parents should teach their children simple reactions: take a deep breath 3 times when angry, run when sad, write a diary, listen to music, find someone to trust to confide in... These are "responsive tools" that need to be practiced regularly, as if the child carries a "mental first aid box".
When they know how to cope, their children will not be completely controlled by emotions, but can take control of the situation.
Parents cannot spend their whole life with their children. But parents can leave their children steadfast in the face of adversity - as their greatest asset.
Don't expect your child's life to be "sailed away from the wind", because that is impossible. Teach your children to be steadfast in the storm - that is the gift to support them for life.
