When children's behavior reflects adult conflicts
Parents are the first model for children. The way parents behave towards each other directly affects the child's growth and personality formation. There are many families where parents often argue and accidentally drag their children into a spiral of conflict. Children, who are not capable of handling complex emotions, are vulnerable to being forced to "please both sides", leading to having to suppress emotions throughout their childhood.
As a result, when they are adults, many people tend to keep away from their family, avoid communication, and gradually lose emotional connection with their parents. The generation gap deeps that gap.
When love is misunderstood as control
In many Asian families, love is often accompanied by control. Parents are easily drawn into the style of parenting in the form of imposing "bargaining and punishing" under the name of "for the children". Gradually, children form an emotional defense mechanism, living in the family without being able to express their true self. They cast walls to protect themselves, instead of building bridges to connect.
Growing up, many people tend to treat outsiders kindly but are easily easily angry and resentful towards their own relatives. Because they have learned that: words you say to your parents will be taken lightly or ignored.
When allowed politeness is only for outsiders
A common mistake in raising children is always emphasizing the need to "keep the mind" of outsiders, but taking the behavior of relatives lightly. Many children are taught how to greet customers and apologize to their teachers, but they do not know how to say thank you and apologize to their parents and grandparents. Some students are even used to pouring their anger into their family - a place that is said to always forgive - instead of learning to regulate their emotions.
Being too entertained and covering up can easily make children realize that no matter how they treat their loved one, they will be accepted. That accidentally forms a selfish and indifferent lifestyle in their own home.
Starting with small things - learn to love at home
Learning how to behave in the family can start with simple things: greetings, apologies, listening eyes, or a gentle patience. Instead of controlling behavior, raise your children in limited love, teach them to respect the feelings of others as well as their own.
Children can say things that are not right, can think differently from their parents - but instead of stopping them, listen. Because when children feel respected, they will learn to listen and love from their own home.
