Tragedy begins when they bring that cold-blooded analytical mind home, using logical "measures" to measure emotions that need comfort. As a result, they can win in every debate, but lose completely in connecting souls.
In fact, many people do not love a specific woman; they only love the feeling that person brings. When that feeling fades, they panic and leave to find a new person, hoping that the "second cup of coffee" will be more flavorful than the first cup. They go through many relationships with the same question: "Why was it very right at first, and then very wrong?".
The answer often lies in an early-figured inner pattern: the mother's absolute gentleness and protection. When they do not realize they are looking for a "second mother", they default to handing over all emotional responsibilities to the other person. They hope to ask the woman to soothe, warm up and give them the feeling of being herself without making efforts to change. That burden of expectations will sooner or later exhaust both.
Strength does not disappear when the heart is softened. Understanding oneself does not make men less masculine; on the contrary, it helps them stop looking for a "rescuer". The true journey of manhood is not to learn more about fighting, but to learn how to let go of weapons; not to try to add iron armor, but to know when to take it off to live like a human being.
We still often see men "going old" and starting to learn how to love. That is the husband who, after a serious illness, for the first time knows how to hold his wife's hand and say thank you, instead of just giving her salary as a duty. That is the father who knows how to bow down and listen to his children's sorrows without judging with the prestige of a boss. That awakening sometimes comes late, after too many breakdowns and lonely "victorians" around a cold meal.
When a man is brave enough to face the child inside him, he will no longer confuse strength and authoritarianism. At that time, love is no longer a battle for victory or a hiding place to avoid reality. It becomes a mirror that clearly reflects both the person in front of him and his true self. Growing up, after all, is when we are brave enough to let go of the rule and take a hand.
