My friend told me a story like this: At her workplace, when the company's fanpage had an article reviewing work productivity at work, it was generally quite positive and acknowledged the achievements and good productivity of my friend. However, there were some comments that pointed out some problems she needed to improve. Immediately, such negative comments attracted her.
Instead of feeling happy with the positive opinions for the review, she felt sad and angry about some critical comments.
In fact, that is quite normal. While drinking coffee together, I asked her a few questions, saying: "Have you always remembered more luxurious experiences than positive experiences? Remember insulting words more clearly than praise words. Think about negative things more often than positive things. more negative events than positive events?". Thinking for a moment, she said: "That's right. And what should I do?".
I told her: People often focus more on the negative when trying to get to know the world. It is the bad things that have attracted our attention, attached to our memory, and in many cases, influenced our decisions. Scientific research shows that negative prejudices affect motivation to complete work. People are less motivated when rewards are packaged as a tool to help achieve something than when rewards help them avoid losing something.
This plays an important role in pursuing goals. Instead of focusing on what you will get if you continue to strive for something, you can easily immerse yourself in what you should give up to achieve that goal.
I can only give you some advice that I have learned from books. That is to stop negative inner monotony. Start paying attention to the type of thinking that comes to your mind. After an event occurs, do you often find yourself thinking like, I should not do that? This type of negative inner monologue forms the process of thinking about yourself and others. Enjoy positive moments. Because positive experiences are more difficult to remember, it is very important to pay more attention to good things that happen. Meanwhile, negative things will be quickly transferred and stored in long-term memory, so you need to make more efforts to do the same with happy moments.
Doing those things is not simple, it is a process of awareness, learning and change. At the very least, eliminating negative surrounding factors contributes to ensuring mental health.
Just remember, frustration doesn't make you feel better.
