Ms. K shared with psychologist To Nhi A about her tearful marriage story.
She met her ex-husband through a job as a market trader. She was a saleswoman, and he was a delivery man. He is gentle, quiet, and always enthusiastic about helping, making her admire him. Both have stable jobs and are not tied down much about their family. I used to think that was enough to build a married life, she said.
In the first year of their marriage, she became pregnant. Husband works hard, helps with housework and takes care of mother-in-law. But when his son turned 5 years old, everything changed. He started drinking lightly, starting every weekend, then had arguments, beatings, and even repeatedly beat his wife. Once she had to be hospitalized.
She once filed for divorce but her husband did not sign it, and eagerly asked for an opportunity. Her mother-in-law also advised her to be patient for her children. Ms. K tried to shy away from him once again. He has changed for a while, but after the COVID-19 pandemic, everything has changed. Income increased, new friends, drinking parties, gambling, and girlfriends continued. "Every time I spoke up, he beat me. Not once, but many times, she choked up.
Once, just because of his wrong words, he threw the whole hot tray of rice at her feet in front of his son. The boy was once quiet, but that day he shouted: " since then, stop like that, I won't miss it!". That moment really scratched her. "I was afraid not only because I was beaten, but also that one day both my husband and children would no longer be able to control themselves. At that time, I lost my husband, children and myself.
After forgiving her many times but not getting the right results, a year later she decided to divorce. Since then, the son has lived with his mother for two years. I dont care about his life anymore. I don't want to look back at the old injuries, but I don't think he's changed," she said.
Listening to the story, Dr. To Nhi A commented: In marriage, it is important not to discuss right or wrong, the important thing is to identify loopholes to promptly rescue them. When we understand the cause of the problem, we can find a better solution for both of us".
Ms. K agreed: "Thinking back, I realized that he was a quiet person. Before, I thought it was gentle, but it was his small talk that made him unable to share the pressure. The later he get, the more he finds wine, gambling, and girls as a way out. And that exit is the burial pit for families.
According to her, the two did not have time to sit down to truly understand each other. "I don't know what the role of a husband is, but I didn't realise the gaps because I was busy."
Ms. K told this story not to blame, but to send a message to other women: "If you fall into the same situation as me, take courage to step out of that marriage".
