When I turned 50, I thought again: Whether my life is brilliant or not, turns out it's not about other people's judgment but about inner feelings.
Everyone has times when, looking at successful examples, we ask ourselves where we will go, when our lives are nothing significant. When our names are not on the list of outstanding people, we feel like a loser in our own lives. But then, time passes, and we realize that most of life does not take place under the stage lights. It takes place on normal days, no one notices, when we silently live with our daily work and small but important responsibilities.
Some people dream of making big things happen, but in the end they only have to worry about a peaceful home for their family. Some people once had many dreams, but later they only hoped that their parents would worry less, their children would grow up decently, and they could sleep well every night without worrying about living wrongly.
To live a decent life without glory, people must win many things in their hearts. They must overcome the feeling of inferiority when seeing others go faster, must overcome the temptation to exaggerate themselves just to reduce self-pity, and must fight with shame when realizing they are not as extraordinary as they once imagined.
We often think that living normally is easy, but in reality it is not. There are people who live very normally, but they are extremely respectable. They are people who do repetitive work every day, but have never done it superficially because of fatigue. They do not say big words, but keep their word to the end. They are rarely praised, but still silently take responsibility, take care of their families, behave kindly with those around them and do not vent their bitterness on others.
Living a normal life really needs a lot of courage. Courage not to see yourself as a failure just because you are no better than anyone. Courage to move slowly without despising yourself. And courage to understand that, not sparkling can still be a decent and fulfilling life.
When we understand that, we will feel lighter. We will be less forced to become an inspiring story. We will be less panicked when we see others go far away. We will stop considering quiet days as meaningless, because in fact, a person's life is mainly made up of such days. Days of waking up early to go to work. Days of calculating spending. Days of worrying about parents. Days of taking children to school. Days of keeping your word, keeping your routine, keeping yourself straight.
I once heard the old shoe shiner on the street corner where I live, say: The greatest achievement of a person may not be how high they have stood, but whether they have become a support for someone or not. Do they live so that when they look back, they don't have to turn their face away from themselves or not.
A life that is not brilliant, then what? Then it can still be a beautiful life. Beautiful in a way that is not noisy. Beautiful because it is strong enough for loved ones to lean on. Beautiful because it does not do anything that makes conscience resentful. Beautiful because amidst so much rush, competition and exposure out there, I still maintain my decentness.
