In married life, women often want to share, while men choose to stay silent. They hide their emotions, avoid direct dialogue, and sometimes become proficient in... lying to their wives - not to betray them, but to avoid trouble and keep the air together.
According to psychologist Nguyen Thi Thu Huyen (Linh Tam Psychological Consulting Center), the trend of "self-protection" of men comes from the traditional gender model: "From a young age, men are taught to be strong and show few emotions. Therefore, when entering marriage, they find it difficult to share their sadness, easily choosing to stay silent even though the pain inside is not small".
Here are 4 things that most men never tell their wives.
1. He still misses his ex-lover
Many people think that women are weak and indecisive. But in reality, in love, women are often more decisive than men. When they broke up, they were in pain, but determined to forget to move on. As for men, it is the opposite: at first they may be very cold and reasonable, but as time passes, they are more likely to miss them.
Some men still remember their ex-lover, even when they are living peacefully with their current wife. It is not necessarily an unceasing love, but a longing for a beautiful memory. However, they never say that because they are afraid that their wife will be sad, angry, or hurt.
Men tend to preserve emotional memories as a way to affirm that they have been loved and truly loved. They remember but that does not mean they want to come back, but sometimes they are just nostalgic, analyzed psychologist Thu Huyen.
2. Family incidents
Regardless of whether there have been injuries or discord, family is still a sacred thing that men want to preserve. Therefore, they often avoid sharing with their wife about bad things in their family, such as conflicts between family members, harmonious conflicts or painful childhood memories.
Many men grew up lacking affection, with wounds from their families that they tried to bury deep. They keep quiet not only to keep the image of their relatives, but also to avoid making the wife think or look at her husband's family with a different perspective.
They are afraid that if they mention negative things in their family, they will be considered "not good for the family". It is an invisible barrier that makes many men silent even with their closest relatives.
3. Personal finance
Finance is a sensitive issue in every marriage. There are expenses that the husband does not want his wife to know about. It could be a secret savings account, a risky investment, or worse yet, a stack of silent debts.
Many men think that admitting financial difficulties also means admitting failure. They hide it gullibly to make ends meet, while their psychology is getting heavier.
Men often associate their self-worth with their ability to be economic pillars. When they lose financial control, they don't want to admit it, because that can easily hit their deepest self-esteem.
4. When they are hurt by their own wives
Many wives unintentionally hurt their husbands with words, attitude, indifference or comparison. But instead of saying it back, men are often silent, hiding their true feelings.
They were afraid of being judged as small, weak, and also did not want to create conflicts. That silence sometimes extends to the point of causing the marriage to fall into a cold, distant state that neither of them recognizes.
Marriage needs space for both of them to express their true emotions. But if men keep hiding sadness and hurt, it will gradually lead to a broken relationship.
Four things men usually don't say don't mean lying. It is a manifestation of a deep, self-respecting type of injury.
But that is why if a woman is sophisticated and understanding enough, she can open that silent door with faith, tolerance and without judgment.
