Shocked to discover wife used to "go out with clients", hiding her own child

Reader T.Q. S (in Phu Tho) asked: "My wife and I have been married for 1 year. When we first met, she said she was a kindergarten teacher in the countryside. Her family only has two sisters, her parents died early, her older sister married near home. After knowing each other for 2 years, we decided to get married.

Because the two families are 70km apart, after getting married, I want my wife to quit her job and go home to sell goods. My wife also agreed with the family's arrangement.

One strange thing is that although my house is quite far from my wife's house, every weekend she returns to her hometown. Every time she returns, she comes to her sister's house to visit her grandchildren and is especially very close to her youngest son. Every time I meet her, she buys clothes, toys, milk... for her grandchild and cuddles her, when saying goodbye, she is very attached.

Once I sat at a water stall near her sister's house and accidentally learned the unexpected truth about my wife. She was not a teacher but used to work as a waitress at a beer stall in Hanoi. She even had a period of "customership". After that, she became pregnant and gave birth to a son. That boy was the "youngest child" of her sister.

When I went home to interrogate her, she confessed that after finishing 12th grade, due to circumstances, she followed a friend down to Hanoi to work at a beer shop. Then the older sister invited her to "entertain guests" with the desire to have some capital to return to her hometown to work. After getting pregnant, she returned to her hometown to give birth and no longer worked. When she met and fell in love with me, she asked her older sister to raise the child, hiding her past for fear of losing me.

To be honest, at that time I was very angry, so I made a fuss, causing my whole family to know her past. My mother forced me to divorce my wife. She said, if I don't agree, she will ask the court to cancel this marriage. After my anger, thinking back, I feel sorry for her.

I still love my wife very much and want to let go of the past to continue living together. Lawyer, please tell me, is my marriage to her considered illegal? Does my mother have the right to request the cancellation of my marriage? If so, can our marriage be cancelled?

Regarding the legal issue you asked, lawyer Duong Thu Hien - Thanh Lam Law Company Limited - advises as follows:

Based on point b, clause 2, Article 5 of the Law on Marriage and Family in 2014 (amended and supplemented in 2025), marriage deception is a prohibited act in marriage and family. Your wife used to work as a bartender and had "customers" but intentionally hid her past. At the same time, she also lied that she was a primary school teacher, hiding the fact that she had an illegitimate child, which falls into the case of marriage deception.

Clause 3, Article 2 of Joint Circular No. 01/2016/TTLT-TANDTC-VKSNDTC-BTP dated January 6, 2016 of the Supreme People's Court, the Supreme People's Procuracy and the Ministry of Justice stipulates: Marriage deception is an intentional act of one party or a third party to make the other party misunderstand and lead to agreeing to marry; if there is no such act, the deceived party has not agreed to marry. However, you are also at fault in not finding out carefully when deciding to marry your wife.

Based on the above regulations, your husband and wife's case can be considered a violation of marriage conditions. According to Clause 1, Article 10 of the Law on Marriage and Family in 2014, the person who is deceived into marriage has the right to request or propose to individuals or organizations according to regulations to request the Court to annul the illegal marriage because the marriage violates the marriage conditions.

Your mother also has the right to request the Court to annul the illegal marriage of your husband and wife because you were deceived into marriage. Based on Clause 2, Article 10 of the Law on Marriage and Family in 2014, the following individuals, agencies, and organizations, according to the provisions of the law on civil procedure, have the right to request the Court to annul the illegal marriage because the marriage violates the provisions of Point d, Clause 1, Article 8 of the Law on Marriage and Family in 2014: Spouse of the person who is married to another person; father, mother, child, guardian or other legal representative of the person who is married illegally; State management agency on family; State management agency on children; Women's Union.

However, because you and your wife are still very much in love, you have also forgiven her past and do not want to divorce, according to the guidance of the Council of Judges of the Supreme People's Court: For cases of marriage where one party is forced, deceived or coerced, it is a violation of marriage conditions, depending on each case, decide as follows:

If after being forced, deceived or coerced into marriage, life is not happy, there is no marital affection, then the decision to annul the marriage is illegal.

If after being forced, deceived, or coerced into marriage, the forced, deceived, or coerced party has known, but has sympathized, and continues to live in harmony, it does not decide to annul the illegal marriage.

In your case, even though you knew you were deceived by her, you sympathized and did not want to divorce. Thus, if your mother requests the Court to annul your marriage, the Court may not decide to annul your illegal marriage.

The above is the advice of the lawyer. Wishing you to soon solve your problems.