Proactively reconcile after conflict
After each disagreement, many couples fall into a state of limiting conversation or avoiding each other. However, instead of letting silence drag on, many people choose to actively make up to mend the relationship.
Ms. Phan Thuy Linh (35 years old, Hanoi) said that before, every time they were angry with each other, her husband and she often remained silent for many days because everyone waited for the other person to speak up first. After many times experiencing unnecessary misunderstandings, both agreed to proactively make up sooner.
“I realize that the more silent we are, the easier it is to misunderstand each other. Now, even though I am still angry, I still actively ask or make a glass of water for my husband as a way to start speaking. Just one person proactively, everything is usually much lighter,” Ms. Linh shared.
Meanwhile, Mr. Tran Minh Quan (37 years old, Ho Chi Minh City) said that he and his wife have a private agreement every time a conflict occurs, which is to sit and drink tea together.
“Sometimes no one says sorry immediately, but just sitting next to each other, drinking a cup of tea and starting to talk, all the problems are gradually resolved. The important thing is that both of us want to maintain the relationship rather than try to win in the argument,” Mr. Quan said.
Proactively making peace is a way to maintain marital happiness
According to psychologist Mai Viet Duc (Nhan Hoa Viet Counseling and Psychological Therapy Center), the important thing is not whether husband and wife argue or not, but how both reconcile after conflicts.
In fact, happy couples are not because they argue less, but because they know how to get back together very quickly," psychologist Mai Viet Duc said.
To make reconciliation more natural, couples can build their own signals to help eliminate the tense atmosphere after each disagreement.
“A very effective trick is to have a private reconciliation signal for both husband and wife. It could be a hug, an emoticon, a cup of tea, a gentle sentence, or even a song that both like. These private codes help break the tense atmosphere without anyone having to give up first,” the psychologist shared.
After each argument, the important thing is not to determine who wins and who loses, but for both to have more understanding for each other.
Don't put too much emphasis on who is right and who is wrong. In marriage, the winner in an argument is sometimes the loser in a relationship. What is more important is whether after a conflict, both of you understand each other better or not," the psychologist said.
Psychologist Mai Viet Duc believes that when both want to maintain their marriage, an apology or proactive reconciliation will no longer be difficult to say.
Marriage does not need two people to always be right, but two people to always want to come back together. When that thought is maintained, apologizing, giving way to each other or actively making up will no longer be shameless, but a way to preserve the person you love and preserve your own marriage," Mr. Mai Viet Duc emphasized.
