Father gives 4-year-old son beer, mother asks court to restrict custody

Reader V.M.H (in Hai Phong) asked: My husband and I got married in 2020 after 2 years of dating. In the early days, we lived quite peacefully and had a son who is 4 years old this year. But after 3 years of marriage, my husband started to change, often gathering with friends and drinking. Even, he often dragged friends home to drink until morning. When drunk, the men on the mat drank and talked very nonsense without paying attention to the children in the house.

I have advised him a lot, but my husband has not changed. Every week he gathers to drink. And all the drinking buddies are people with all kinds of bad habits.

Seeing that I could not move my husband, I filed for divorce in court. The court ruled that I had custody of the child, and my husband had an obligation to provide child support of 3 million VND per month. My husband was allowed to pick up the child to live with him every weekend.

I thought that after the divorce he would change and be less likely to gather with friends. However, recently, I learned that he did not give up his bad habits but became more deeply involved. Many times when picking up his children, he still held drinking parties at home. At the drinking party, he and his friends smoked cigarettes, and had improper behaviors in front of his children. Even once, he gave his children beer, and then said to the boy: "Men must practice drinking to have a masculine ambition".

I have repeatedly asked my ex-husband not to have behaviors that affect the child, but he still continues to repeat the incident. I am very worried about the development and formation of the boy's personality. Many people advise me to propose to the Court to limit his rights to the child. I have thought a lot and also think that separating the boy from his father is the best thing for the child at this time.

I don't know if my ex-husband is like that, I have the right to request to restrict his rights to the child or not? And another thing I am hesitant about is the issue of child support, because I am a worker, taking care of the child alone is also a bit hard. If I propose to the Court to restrict the rights of a father to the child, will it affect the issue of support? I would like to advise.

Regarding the legal issue you asked, lawyer Duong Thu Hien - Thanh Lam Law Company Limited - advises as follows:

Article 85 of the 2014 Law on Marriage and Family (amended and supplemented in 2025) stipulates the restriction of the rights of parents to minor children as follows:

“1. Parents are restricted in their rights to minors in the following cases:

a) Being convicted of one of the crimes of infringing upon the life, health, dignity, and honor of children with intentional fault or having serious violations of the obligation to look after, care for, nurture, and educate children;

b) Dismantling children's property;

c) Having a depraved lifestyle;

d) Instigating and forcing children to do things against the law and social ethics.

2. Based on each specific case, the Court may arbitrarily or at the request of individuals, agencies, and organizations specified in Article 86 of this Law, issue a decision not to allow parents to look after, care for, educate children, manage children's private property or legally represent children for a period of 01 year to 05 years. The Court may consider shortening this period.

According to the provisions of law, your husband often drinks alcohol and has improper behaviors in front of his children. He also lets a 4-year-old child drink beer, which is not the right thing to do in educating children. Therefore, to avoid affecting your children, you can completely request the Court to restrict your ex-husband's rights to his son.

Article 87 of the 2024 Law on Marriage and Family (amended and supplemented in 2025) stipulates the Legal Consequences of parents being restricted in their rights to minor children as follows:

“1. In case the father or mother is restricted by the Court in their rights to a minor child, the other person exercises the right to look after, nurture, care for, educate the child, manage the child's private property and represent the child according to the law.

2. The supervision, care, education of children and management of the private property of minors are assigned to guardians according to the provisions of the Civil Code and this Law in the following cases:

a) Both parents are restricted by the Court in their rights to minor children;

b) One parent is not restricted in their rights to a minor child but is not eligible to exercise their rights and obligations to the child;

c) One parent is restricted in their rights to a minor child and the other parent of the minor child has not been identified.

3. Parents who have been restricted by the Court in their rights to minor children must still fulfill their obligation to provide child support.

According to the above regulations, a father with restricted rights to a minor child still has to fulfill the obligation to provide alimony. Therefore, if you request and your ex-husband is restricted by the Court in rights to a son, then providing alimony for the child is still an obligation that he must fulfill. You can rest assured to consider requesting the Court to restrict the father's rights in this case, in order to best protect the child.

The above is the advice of the lawyer. Wishing you to soon solve your problems.