Money is not the main reason for broken marriages, but it is often the fuel for all inherent conflicts. When expenses are hidden, when one person silently carries the burden that the other does not know, or when financial goals are not agreed upon... trust will begin to crack.
Love helps two get together, but it is the way of managing money that will determine how far they can go together. Here are not new principles but are the core foundation for couples to maintain happiness from their daily finances.
1. Money is not just money, let's sit down and understand each other
One of the common mistakes is thinking that just by loving each other, everything else will "immediately harmonize". But in reality, each person grows up in a different environment, having different beliefs about money. For this person, money is a tool to ensure safety. For others, money is a symbol of freedom. Some people see spending as an act of affection, while others need to be strictly controlled to feel secure.
If not shared early, those differences will cause conflict: one person sees the other as "exorbitant", the other feels "controlled". So take the time to talk seriously not only about numbers, but about belief, fear and personal views on money.
2. Establishing a common fund, keeping a separate fund - harmonizing trust and freedom
Many couples failed because of the concept of "not having your own property when you are a couple". But the truth is, happy marriage does not mean removing personal limits. A common fund to raise children, spend on living expenses, and take care of both sides of the family is necessary. But a separate account, whether big or small, is very important, it is a personal space that helps each person not feel loss of autonomy in marriage.
The clearer, more transparent and agreed from the beginning, the less stressed the couple will be in the future.
However, the use of finance under this method requires high consensus and serious implementation on the basis of mutual respect. It is not necessary to plan monthly spending for lack of confidence. On the contrary, it is a way to express shared responsibility. When both of them know the cash flow, the expenses for their children, parents, living expenses... together, there will be no more sentences like "I think you are worried", or "why don't you say this?".
Currently, many modern couples use financial apps or shared management files. They are not only watching money, but also watching the maturity of their own relationships.
3. clearly allocate financial roles and always have an emergency " lifebuoy"
When it is not agreed who is responsible, responsibility will be pushed away. Let's assign specific roles: who pays the bill, who is in charge of saving, who monitors children's tuition fees... At the same time, there needs to be an emergency reserve fund like a "lifeline" when incidents come: job loss, illness, accident...
The most difficult times are the deepest test of marriage. A reserve not only helps maintain finances but is also a way to maintain spirit, avoid falling into a state of blaming and falling down.
4. Respecting differences in spending, everyone needs to be themselves
The husband loves mechanical watches, the wife loves dresses and cosmetics, there is no one wrong with it. The problem is the extent and limitation. If both of you agree on a reasonable level of personal spending, then each person can be themselves in the framework of love.
A couple does not necessarily have to like the same thing, but understand and respect what the other person cherishes.
5. Before investing, don't forget to invest in trust
Many couples have broken up because of an investment deal that only one person knows about. It could be borrowing money from friends, getting capital to do business, buying land... but hiding it from husband/wife. When faced with risks, the others fall into a state of confusion and hurt because they are excluded from major decisions.
No matter how much investment is worth it, it is not worth it as much as confidence. Every investment in marriage needs to be discussed, transparent and unified, because the commitment "we all take responsibility" is the greatest spiritual support.
Love helps start marriage. But to preserve marriage, more things are needed: trust, respect, and a solid financial plan. When a couple no longer hide their money from each other, it is also a time when they can hold hands and face the hardships of life like two companions, not two opponents.
