Violent husband, forbidding going to the parents' house: How to win custody of children?

Reader N.V.H (in Thai Nguyen) asked: "My husband and I have been married for 3 years, but only registered our marriage without holding a wedding according to local customs. We have a 2-year-old son and are living with my parents-in-law.

My husband works as a freelance construction worker, his job is erratic, and his income is unstable. Because he has a lot of free time, he often goes out drinking with friends. When drunk, he often beats and scolds me. Many times he even held a knife to his neck, threatening to kick me out of the house and saying I am a freeloader, while I work as a worker at a factory, if I work overtime, my salary may be more than 10,000,000 VND/month.

The last time, when he and his friends were drinking, he ran out of alcohol. He told me to go buy. I advised him to drink a lot, then he took a hammer and a long nail and threatened to hit my leg. I was too scared, intending to hug my child and run back to my mother's house, but my husband locked me up, saying that my daughter has married and is no longer related to my mother's house and forced me to stay home. After that, my mother-in-law felt sorry for me and opened the door for me to run away when my husband was sleeping. Now I am at my mother's house but my mother-in-law does not allow me to take my child away. My husband came to my mother's house again, cursing and forcing me to go back to my husband's house.

Faced with this situation, what should I do to avoid returning to live with my husband? And if I want to take my son away, how should I solve it? I would like to ask a lawyer for advice.

Regarding the legal issue you asked, Lawyer Duong Thu Hien - Thanh Lam Law Company Limited - advises as follows:

Clause 1, Article 3 of the Law on Domestic Violence Prevention and Control 2022 stipulates domestic violence acts as follows:

Article 3. Domestic violence

1.Domestic violence includes: a) Torture, abuse, beatings, threats or other intentional acts that infringe upon health and life; b) Insulting, scolding or other intentional acts that offend honor and dignity;

According to the provisions of law, your husband has acts of beating, cursing, holding a knife to his neck threatening to drive you out of the house and saying you are a freeloader, holding a hammer and a long nail threatening to nail you to the leg, which is an act of domestic violence. To protect herself, you can exercise the rights under Clause 1, Article 9 of the Law on Domestic Violence Prevention and Control 2022 specifically as follows:

1.People who are victims of domestic violence have the following rights: a) Request agencies, organizations, and individuals with authority to protect their health, life, honor, dignity, and other legitimate rights and interests related to domestic violence;

b) Requesting competent agencies and individuals to apply measures to prevent, protect, and support in accordance with the provisions of this Law;

c) Being arranged for temporary shelter, keeping secrets about temporary shelter and information about private life, personal secrets and family secrets in accordance with the provisions of this Law and other relevant legal regulations;

d) Being provided with medical services, psychological counseling, skills to respond to domestic violence, legal and social assistance according to the provisions of law;

e) Request the person who committed domestic violence to remedy the consequences, compensate for damage to health, honor, dignity and property damage;

e) Be informed about related rights and obligations in the process of resolving conflicts and disputes between family members, handling domestic violence acts;

g) Complaints, denunciations, lawsuits against acts of violating the law on domestic violence prevention and control;

h) Other rights as prescribed by law related to domestic violence prevention and control".

If you do not want to return to live with your husband, want to divorce, end marital relations, the law stipulates as follows: Clause 1, Article 56 of the Law on Marriage and Family in 2014 stipulates divorce at the request of one party as follows:

1. When the wife or husband requests divorce but mediation at the Court fails, the Court shall grant divorce if there is evidence that the wife or husband has committed domestic violence or seriously violated the rights and obligations of the wife or husband, causing the marriage to fall into a serious state, the common life cannot be prolonged, and the purpose of the marriage is not achieved.

Clause 1, Article 4 of Resolution No. 01/2024/NQ-HĐTP dated May 16, 2024 of the Council of Judges of the Supreme People's Court guides as follows:

1. Husband and wife who have domestic violence acts are husband and wife who have acts specified in Clause 1, Article 3 of the Law on Prevention and Combat of Domestic Violence.

Therefore, when your husband has acts of torture, abuse, beating, threatening or other intentional acts that infringe on your health and life, you have the right to file a lawsuit requesting the Court to grant divorce at your request without your husband's consent.

Regarding common children: Clause 3, Article 81 of the 2014 Law on Marriage and Family stipulates the care, nurturing, and education of children after divorce as follows:

3. Children under 36 months old are assigned to the mother to directly raise, unless the mother does not have the conditions to directly look after, care for, nurture, and educate the child or the parents have other agreements suitable to the child's interests.

When divorcing, you have the right to request direct custody of the child because the child is only 2 years old. You have a stable job and monthly income, so you can submit your payroll or labor contract to the Court to prove that you are eligible to directly look after, care for, raise, and educate the child, while your husband does not have a stable income, and often drinks alcohol, and has domestic violence against you.

The above is the advice of the lawyer. Hopefully, it will help you have a basis to best protect your legitimate rights.