Do not interfere in marriage and choose private feelings
Marriage and love are the deepest private areas of each person. Giving advice when asked is one thing, but interfering, judging, standing on one side or "advising at all costs" is another. Many family relationships break down just because outsiders talk too much, hear too much and believe they are right.
Many parents, siblings or close friends unintentionally become "troublemakers" when constantly scrutinizing other people's married life: who is right, who is wrong, who is better and who is worse. This does not help solve the problem, but often pushes insiders into a defensive position, losing faith.
Dr. Harriet Lerner - clinical psychologist, a family relationship expert in the United States - said: "When we interfere in other people's marriages without being asked, we often increase conflict instead of reducing it. Respect for boundaries is a form of mature love.
Loving properly is sometimes backing down, letting those involved take responsibility for their choices.
No control over finances, careers and parenting
Money and career are two extremely sensitive fields. Giving advice on investment, spending or career orientation if not proposed is easily seen as imposing, disregarding other people's abilities. Many relationships are fractured just because of seemingly innocent sayings: "How can you live on that?", "Why don't you listen to me for sure?".
Similarly, parenting is also a "forbidden zone" if there is no invitation. Each family has different circumstances, values and abilities. Comparing children, criticizing other people's parenting methods, even under the guise of "experience", can also cause deep hurt.
According to Dr. Shefali Tsabary - family psychologist, lecturer at Columbia University (USA), respecting other people's autonomy is the foundation of a healthy relationship. “When we try to live on behalf of other people's lives, we are depriving them of their opportunity to grow up,” she emphasized.
Personal life such as mental health, life choices, and private decisions also need to be respected. Asking enough, helping when asked, and stopping at the right time are important skills but often underestimated.
Closeness does not mean no boundaries. Growing up in relationships is knowing how to stand close but not encroach on other people's lives. When each person lives their own life, family and friendship have the opportunity to last, not be tired, not be hurt.
