Tension in the mother-in-law-daughter relationship
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has long been prone to conflicts due to generational differences and ways of expressing love.
Ms. Nguyen Thu Ha (28 years old, Hanoi) said that after getting married and living with her husband's family, conflicts between her and her mother-in-law began to arise from very small things. From cooking, cleaning the house to taking care of young children, Ms. Ha's mother-in-law often gave advice and asked to follow her habits.
At first, I thought my mother-in-law cared, so I talked a lot, but gradually I felt that I did not have the right to decide in my own life," Ms. Ha shared.
The seemingly harmless suggestions gradually made Ms. Ha fall into a state of stress, avoiding communication, while her mother-in-law thought her daughter-in-law was unreasonable.
Another case is Ms. Le Thi Minh Anh (32 years old, Hanoi) - who has experienced a period of psychological crisis due to feeling compared and judged. Her mother-in-law often compares her to her neighbor's daughter-in-law or from the past.
I always try to be patient because I think I am a daughter-in-law, but the more I endure, the greater the conflict," Ms. Minh Anh said.
According to Ms. Minh Anh, what makes the relationship tense is not just words, but the feeling of not being understood and not being recognized for her own efforts.
Establishing boundaries to maintain mother-in-law and daughter-in-law harmony
According to psychologist Mai Viet Duc - Nhan Hoa Viet Counseling and Psychological Therapy Center, to build a harmonious mother-in-law - daughter-in-law relationship, first of all, it is necessary to start from understanding.
“Daughters-in-law can understand that behind reminders or interventions are sometimes the worries and love of a mother. When they understand this, the negative reaction will decrease, giving way to sympathy and listening,” expert Mai Viet Duc shared.
In addition, each party needs to establish appropriate and flexible boundaries. Living together does not mean losing privacy or decision-making rights in marriage.
Daughters-in-law can choose a positive way of communicating, showing respect before expressing personal desires. Gentle and respectful speaking will help both sides feel more comfortable in receiving the issue," the expert emphasized.
In particular, the role of the husband is considered a key factor in regulating family relationships.
The husband is the bridge between filial piety to mother and responsibility to wife. When you know how to listen, share and balance the emotions of both sides, many conflicts will be resolved early, avoiding unnecessary conflicts.
There is no perfect relationship, especially between people who have not grown up together. Instead of expecting mothers-in-law to love their daughters-in-law like their own children or daughters-in-law to absolutely listen, each side should aim for respect, cooperation and learn together how to handle differences in a civilized way," expert Mai Viet Duc said.
