I used to think that after my father passed away, what my mother needed most was to have the children by her side. My brother and I still took turns visiting, taking my mother for check-ups, buying medicine and taking care of large family expenses. My mother has a regular monthly pension, not too high, but if it only serves basic living needs, it is still enough.
I never thought that amount of money would become a reason for me to be sad and have to think so much.
My father passed away 4 years ago. At that time, my mother was over 60 years old but still decided to stay in the old house. My mother said that place was associated with too many memories of my father, moreover, she was still healthy and could take care of herself.
My brother and I respected that decision. We agreed to take turns visiting my mother and proactively take care of large expenses so that my mother would not have to worry too much about money.
I still often think that my mother's pension should be kept for her to spend or for emergencies when sick. The older I get, the more unpredictable misfortunes arise. Maybe today my mother is still healthy, but no one knows when they need money for medical examination, buying medicine or hiring someone to take care of her.
Therefore, I have repeatedly reminded my mother not to be too thrifty or give money to her children. Mother just keep it for herself to use when needed.
I thought my mother had listened until one time she came home at the end of the month. At that time, I accidentally noticed that in her wallet there was only a very small amount of money left. When asked about the pension, I learned that my mother had transferred most of the money to her brother.
What surprised me even more was that this was not something new that happened once or twice. His mother had been silently helping him for many months, almost every time she received a salary, she would spend a large portion to transfer to her son.
I both feel sorry for my mother and feel sad. My older brother is not completely unemployed. He and his wife still work and have their own lives. However, recently his work has encountered difficulties, and some debts have arisen, so his mother wants to support him.
From a mother's perspective, I understand that. When children encounter difficulties, it is very difficult for parents to stand aside. Especially when a mother has been used to sacrificing for her children her whole life, it is understandable that she wants to help him.
I started thinking more about a problem that my family rarely mentioned before: how much parental help is enough?
When young, parents can spend money, time and effort to raise their children. But when they enter retirement age, they also need a separate financial asset to ensure their own lives.
Love for children is unmeasurable. However, if helping makes parents no longer have money to prepare for old age, then that sacrifice sometimes becomes a burden for the children themselves later.
After knowing his situation clearly, I understood that everything was not simply "you ask for money, mom gives money". Mom actively wanted to help, and he also had his own difficulties.
The two brothers then agreed that his mother could still support him, but had to keep a fixed amount for spending and in case of unexpected events.
Because after a lifetime of caring for the family, mothers also deserve to have old age years to live without having to worry about how much money they have left.
