Comparison, prejudice and hidden hurt from childhood
Many families are in a situation where brothers are not in harmony just because the scratches from childhood have never been healed. Parents accidentally compare the older and younger, over-prive one person, scold the other... leaving feelings of loss and doubt that last until adulthood.
When a child grows up feeling discriminated against by parents, they bring sensitivity and vigilance to future relationships, especially with siblings, says Dr. Hannah Klein, a family psychologist at the University of Zurich (Switzerland).
No adult wants to acknowledge the old hurt, but that emotion still affects the way they talk, how they react, and how they treat each other. When entering married life, economic pressure and the responsibility of taking care of parents make conflicts more likely to break out.
role disputes, money and excessive expectations
A major reason for the separation of brothers is the "unfairness" in dividing responsibilities and benefits. The story of who takes care of their parents, who contributes more, who benefits from family assets... is always a hot spot. The less open communication a family lacks, the more conflicts between brothers escalate, especially when it comes to money and roles, says Dr. Klein.
In many families, the successful person is considered uncaring, the disadvantaged person is considered dependent, the person living close to their parents has more responsibility but is complained about taking up the job. The lack of understanding caused the brothers to face each other instead of solving it together.
In addition, parents' expectations are sometimes too high or too harsh, causing each child to carry different pressures. Unable to speak, unable to listen, these expectations become barriers rather than motivations.
Brotherhood is a lifelong relationship, and harmony does not come from luck but from efforts to understand each other. When each person knows how to set limits, share responsibilities and dare to speak frankly, the family will have less problems. For families with young children, the harmony of the parent generation is a vivid lesson for children to follow.
