After the wedding, Hanh realized that differences in economic conditions, spending habits and responsibility to both families could affect the lives of a young couple.
My Hanh said that she just got married in May. Before the wedding, she did not put much emphasis on whether her husband's family was rich or poor. For her, the most important thing is that her partner is hardworking and the two of them can build a new life together.
She also believes that she does not need her parents-in-law's support, so their economic circumstances do not significantly affect her marriage decision. However, things that happened during and after the wedding made My Hanh change her mind.
According to her sharing, during the wedding, her parents took care of almost all expenses for the bride's family, from family party, setting up tents, ancestral rites, wedding photos to restaurant deposits. The money the groom's family prepared for the wedding was also sent back by her parents to the couple. After paying off expenses, Hanh and her husband still had about 200 million VND in cash and gold.
My Hanh said that her parents see the money spent on the wedding as a gift for their two daughters.
Meanwhile, on the groom's side, it was completely different. After the wedding ended, just after opening the congratulatory money box, Hanh's husband announced that he had to use money to pay for many expenses related to the wedding such as feasts, setting up tents, ancestral rites, makeup for family members, taking photos... After completing the expenses, the couple only had about 6 million VND left.
Not only different in marriage, post-marital expenses also made Hanh start to think.
Her husband's family has 4 children, of which the eldest brother lives near his parents. However, Hanh and her husband still regularly pay for electricity and wifi for the family, send money for shopping during anniversaries, holidays and take on many other expenses related to daily life.
Every month, the couple visited their paternal grandparents' house once and often brought gifts. When relatives invited her to marry, her parents-in-law also told Hanh and her husband to go "paying off", while all 4 siblings in the family were married, not just her and her husband.
Such expenses, if prolonged, may create additional financial pressure for a newlywed family.
What makes My Hanh embarrassed is that the way the two families treat her and her husband is different. When returning to her parents' house, she said that her parents and grandmother often want to give the couple money or gifts, almost not asking them for financial support.
That difference made My Hanh begin to unconsciously compare the two families. She understood that her parents on each side had different circumstances and ways of life, but the constant amounts of money arising from her husband's family still made her feel pressured.
I am not selfish, but deep down in my heart there is always a comparison between my husband's family and my parents' family," Hanh shared.
My Hanh's story raises a problem that often appears after marriage: when two people get married, responsibilities to both families continue to exist. Differences in economic conditions, how parents support their children, or concepts of obligations to relatives can all become issues that husband and wife must agree on.
For My Hanh, what worries her is not only the amount of money to spend, but also the feeling of imbalance when comparing what the two families have for their couple.
