Ngoc Lan (character name has been changed), 35 years old, has a stable office job, her husband works for the state, and her 8-year-old son.
Lan once thought she had a dream life. But for nearly 10 years as a daughter-in-law, she always felt exhausted because she became the main caregiver for her husband's intellectually disabled younger sister.
Her sister-in-law was born by her parents when they were both over 40 years old. Although doctors warned that the fetus had problems, they still decided to have children. After 20 years old, the girl had a childlike perception, could not speak and often had epilepsy.
When they were in love, Ngoc Lan went to her husband's house many times but only thought her younger sister was a bit shy. After getting married, she realized that her life would be associated with taking care of this girl.
From eating, bathing, personal hygiene to medicine, most of the work is undertaken by her. There are times when her younger brother-in-law has a fit of screaming and attacking, making her scared, and hygiene issues also haunt her.
When her parents-in-law's health declined, responsibility became increasingly on Ms. Lan. The family once hired a maid, but most of them could only work for a few days because the work was too hard.
She can't even spend much time taking care of her son. Not to mention, the cost of medicine, hiring a cleaner, electricity bills because her brother-in-law only stays in the room with the air conditioner, watching TV all day, and the utensils that are often damaged by her also make the family's economy always tense.
Ngoc Lan once proposed to take her brother-in-law to a professional care facility, but both her husband and parents-in-law objected. They also did not want to carry out procedures to confirm the disability status for their daughter because they were afraid that their daughter would be discriminated against.
The tragedy happened in early summer, when Ngoc Lan took her child to her parents' house for a few days. During that time, her brother-in-law left home and lost contact. This is not the first time the girl has left. Before that, Ngoc Lan had repeatedly warned her family to watch out carefully because she was unable to protect herself.
When she returned, she discovered that her brother-in-law's belly was getting bigger and bigger. The examination results showed that the pregnancy was about 18 weeks.
Ngoc Lan collapsed. She had repeatedly asked her family to apply appropriate contraception, but her parents-in-law did not agree because they were worried about affecting their child's health.
This time, she wants her family to go to a medical facility and functional agencies to get advice on a suitable plan. Meanwhile, her parents-in-law insist on keeping the pregnancy in the hope that the child can take care of their mother later.
Ngoc Lan's husband also suggested that if they had a child, the family could find someone to adopt or take the child to a shelter. But she objected: "Who will raise the child? Who will take care of and teach him? What if the child also has health problems?
The argument caused Ngoc Lan's marriage to fall into crisis. She took her son to her parents' house, because she felt that she was no longer strong enough to endure it.
What hurt her even more was that a year ago, she had an unplanned pregnancy. Due to family circumstances, she chose not to continue the pregnancy.
At that time, I was both relieved and in pain. Until now, I still feel guilty towards my child," she said.
Therefore, Ngoc Lan does not want to be the one to decide the fate of another life. But she also believes that a child needs to be born in a situation where someone is capable of caring for and loving them.
After nearly 10 years of taking responsibility for taking care of her brother-in-law, what Ngoc Lan wants is to find a long-term, safe and humane plan for all members. However, as the pregnancy progresses, she is increasingly afraid that the family will not have much time to make a decision.
Readers can leave comments under the article, share perspectives and advice so that Ngoc Lan can have more references in the current situation.
