According to Xinhua News Agency, wedding gifts in rural areas reflect local customs and lifestyles and are directly related to the interests of the people. Wedding gifts should originally value "rituals" rather than "money", but in recent years, in some areas, this amount of money has gradually deviated from its original meaning.
The mentality of racing, comparing and borrowing to get married has become an unbearable burden for many young rural people and their families.
A survey by the University of Wuhan shows that for a son to get married, a Chinese farming family may have to prepare 600,000-1 million CNY (equivalent to about 2.3-3.8 billion VND). This figure not only includes the bridal gift but may also include housing costs, vehicles, gold and other expenses during the wedding process.
For many families, this is an amount of money that far exceeds the normal accumulation capacity. In 2024, the average disposable income per capita in rural China is 23,119 CNY. If we assume that all this income is used for accumulation, a family still needs about 26-43 years to reach 600,000-1 million CNY.
When there is not enough money, borrowing becomes a way for many families to complete the wedding for their children. It is worth mentioning that the pressure comes not only from the required dowry level, but also from the comparison between families. A costly wedding can quickly become a new "standard", making other families feel that they must respond similarly.
In 2026, a family in Ung Dam, Jiangxi, prepared 288,000 CNY (about 1.1 billion VND) in bridal money to get engaged, but then another family offered 380,000 CNY (about 1.5 billion VND) and "lost" the bride. This case shows that in some places, bridal money is sometimes pushed into a competition similar to auctions: whoever offers a higher price can win the marriage.
Behind that race is a decades-long population problem. According to the 2020 Census, the number of men aged 20-40 in China is about 17.52 million more than women. In areas with severe gender imbalances, the number of men seeking a wife greater than the supply of women may increase competition between families, thereby pushing up the cost of betrothal gifts.
Social pressure also makes this vortex difficult to stop. In some regions, marrying a son's wife is considered a responsibility that parents must fulfill. If they do not prepare enough money and necessary conditions, they may be under pressure from relatives, neighbors and the community. The psychology of "other families can do it, our families must also do it" makes betrothal gifts gradually become a measure of family economic conditions and face.
Behind the large sums of money is also the psychology of seeking security. A part of the bride's parents consider the dowry as a savings or source of support for the future.
When both sides bear expectations from family and community, reducing expenditures becomes difficult.
Xinhua News Agency warned that if this situation continues, high betrothal gifts will not only erode the savings of families but may also increase debt, thereby risking affecting the difficult poverty reduction achievements that have just been achieved.
At the same time, it can also distort social values, promote comparative psychology, causing young people to gradually lose hope for marriage and affect the feeling of happiness of families.
