For nearly a month now, Mr. Nguyen Van Hai (worker, working at Luong Son Industrial Park, Phu Tho province) has always felt tired every time he returns home.
His son, who had just entered 6th grade, suddenly changed his personality. Instead of running out to pick up his father and whispering school stories like in elementary school, the boy now goes home from school right into the room and closes the door tightly.
When asked about her studies, she just curtly replied that it was normal, nothing. One day, seeing my child answering the phone and laughing alone, I pressed her, but she got angry and told me not to interfere in her private life.
Afraid that my child would be playing around, I secretly checked his backpack and the two father and son argued loudly, and he was angry and hadn't talked to me for a whole week," Mr. Hai sighed.
The situation of Mr. Hai's family is also the common concern of many parents whose children are transferred to another level. Entering grade 6, children begin the pre-puberty period.
The new environment and hormonal changes make children more sensitive, have a need to assert themselves and gradually separate from family protection to seek sympathy from friends.
According to teacher Dang Thi Phuong, a teacher at Chiem Hoa Ethnic Minority Boarding School, Tuyen Quang, resistance or "underground rebellion" at this age is how children are positioning themselves. The biggest mistake of parents is using authority to tighten management.
This teacher emphasized that the more you check messages, scrutinize relationships or impose thoughts, the more parents push their children away.
Children will develop psychology of resistance or lying, creating a cover to cope. To avoid breaking the connection, parents need to shift from the role of'controller' to'companion'.
The female teacher also gave three core advices to help parents remove obstacles. Accordingly, parents need to respect their children's privacy.
Secondary school children need to have personal secrets. Knocking on the door before entering the room, not secretly reading diaries or phones is a way for parents to show respect, thereby building a solid foundation of trust.
Along with that, when your child shares about school conflicts, don't rush to teach, compare or blame. Patiently recognizing emotions will help your child feel safer and more open in subsequent conversations.
In particular, instead of giving orders, give your child the right to set their own study schedule, choose sports, or manage small pocket money. When empowered, children will learn to take responsibility for their decisions.
Children's growth is always accompanied by stumbles. Instead of panic, patience, tolerance and understanding from the family are the most solid support for children to peacefully step through the "difficulty" period.
