A media friend used to have a habit of explaining everything. He explained why he was late, why the email was sent at 2 am, why the status on social media sounded a bit... philosophical. Once he was late for a meeting, and stood in front of the whole room presenting what was stuck in traffic, what was raining, and more deeply, urban transport infrastructure. The boss only said one concise sentence: "Next time go earlier", causing all the explanation work to suddenly dissipate quickly like a soap bubble.
That day he drew a painful conclusion, people don't always care about your story, but only need the result. In fact, explanation often starts from a very human need to be understood. Everyone wants others to know that they are not indifferent, not lazy, not as bad as they think. But ironically, the more you try to prove it, the less effective it is.
Imagine you tell someone that you were very busy, very stressed, very trying. In your head, that story is meaningful. But in the listener's head, it is just a stream of information squeezed between meeting schedules, electricity and water bills and messages from family groups.
It's not that they are bad. It's just that they are busy being the main characters of their lives.
A female colleague once experienced a very familiar story. She finished a difficult project, staying up many nights in a row. When submitting the results, she carefully explained the whole process: Difficult data, customers changing requests continuously, group shortage...
After listening, the customer nodded and asked: "Where is the last file, ma'am?".
What makes people most easily disappointed is not being misunderstood, but expecting to be understood too much. When we explain, we often implicitly hope that others will nod, sympathize, and even praise us for overcoming difficulties.
But the older they get, the less they explain. Not because they are secretive or arrogant. Just because they understand that energy should be devoted to living more clearly.
A person who arrives on time does not need to explain about traffic. A person who works kindly does not need to write an essay on professional ethics. A person who lives decently rarely has to prove that they are... decent.
At some point, you will discover something quite light: Not everyone needs to understand themselves. And not every story needs an audience either.
It's like sitting alone drinking coffee in the afternoon. You don't need to explain to anyone why that cup of coffee is good. Just drink it and know that you are enjoying it. That's enough.
