The first time you hear it, you are sad. The second time, you are uncomfortable. By the third time, you start asking yourself: "Am I really that bad?". But if you live long enough, you will realize that not all the words that hurt you are meaningless. He works as a designer, in the early days of working, he is mercilessly criticized by his boss. Every design is revised, sometimes he is directly said: "This looks too amateur". He goes home, turns on the computer and just wants to close it immediately. But then he still sits and adjusts every small detail, learning little by little. A few years later, he himself is the one who approves other people's designs, but he speaks gently and skillfully much more than his former boss to not hurt others, even though the standards he set are no less strict. He once said: "If that day I hadn't been criticized so painfully, I would still think I was okay now".
She also had a friend like that, so straightforward that no one asked for advice. She put on a new shirt, they looked at her from head to toe and said: "You wear this shirt, I'm sure you'll run away." After hearing that, I just wanted to go home and change clothes immediately, or change clothes with my friend. But thinking carefully, among those words, there are things that are right, just the way of speaking is not easy to hear at all.
But over time, you start to change. Not because you become "stiff", but because you gradually understand that other people's words do not always define you. You learn to separate content from emotions. Keep what is right, let what is wrong be swept away by the wind.
Many people come to you in life, leaving some lessons, and then gradually becoming no longer important. Not because you hate them, but because you have passed the stage of needing them. Therefore, perhaps there is no need to hurry to suffer when someone constantly hurts you. What is more worthwhile to do is to ask yourself: Is there anything in those words that helps you see yourself more clearly? If there is, you have "words", and if not, it's okay. Because at some point, when you are strong enough, those words will lose weight and no longer be able to shake you. One day, when you look back at the people who once made you want to "exit", you will feel grateful or simply smile. Not because they have changed, but because your mindset is now different. You learn to be tolerant of the harshness of others and most importantly, learn to be gentle with yourself.
