Father's attachment to children is low
According to the National Investigation Report on Vietnamese Women and Children in 2021, conducted by the General Statistics Office in coordination with UNICEF, it shows: Only 34.5% of men with children under 5 years old participated in child care activities such as feeding, bathing, changing clothes, sleeping in the last 3 days of the survey. Meanwhile, this rate in women is up to 92%. For families in rural areas, the rate of men participating in childcare is even lower, only about 28%.
The above figures show that the father's attachment to his young children in the first years of life is still limited, leaving a big gap in cultivating closeness and connecting the feelings between father and child.
Sharing with Lao Dong Newspaper reporter, Mai Linh (16 years old, Hanoi) said that most of her time at home she only meets her mother, has little contact with her father and hardly speaks more than 3 sentences to him a day. The stories that need my father's help have no chance to be told.
"There are many things I want to share with my father, but whenever I get close, my father says I am busy, telling me to take care of myself. Many times he was teased by his friends, just wanting to run home to hug his father, but then stopped because he was afraid of being upset. I can barely share with my mother, I feel like my father is invisible in the house" - Mai Linh was in tears.
In the same situation, Huu Khang (12 years old, Hanoi) has become accustomed to being self-conscious because his father works far away.
"My father just came home to sleep, and hardly had time to communicate or take care of him. At home, I rarely talk to anyone, so I gradually accept and get lost. Going out also makes me hesitant to talk to others" - Huu Khang sadly shared.
The gaps in communication, indifference or lack of presence of a father over time not only leave a feeling of disappointment in children but also unintentionally erode their confidence and ability to open up to others.
An indifferent father will create a breakdown of trust in his children
Sharing with Lao Dong Newspaper reporter, psychologist Nguyen Minh Duyen - NHC Vietnam Center for Psychology and Human Development - said that when a father always appears distant and indifferent, the child will easily fall into a state of confusion, forming a state of insecurity, thereby leading to a greater consequence, a breakdown of trust.
This will affect childrens actions, behavior, and relationships in the long run, emphasized psychologist Nguyen Minh Duyen.
At the same time, psychologist Tran Thuy Tien - NHC Vietnam Center for Psychology and Human Development - also explained that currently in many Vietnamese families, childcare is still standard and is considered the responsibility of mothers. The concept of "men build a house, women build a home" makes each woman often take full responsibility in raising children.
Every woman who carries too much weight can easily fall into a state of stress. Gradually, she neglected herself, did not take care of her appearance, and often became harsh with her husband and children. As for the father, there is a risk of finding something new outside" - psychologist Tran Thuy Tien shared.
Therefore, psychologist Tran Thuy Tien recommends that couples need to share the responsibility of taking care of their children so that women do not have to carry too much. Mothers and wives should also spend more time on themselves, attend physical education and sports classes... At the same time, they should share with their husbands when they feel they are too much to maintain balance in the family.
