Talking to psychologist To Nhi A, Ms. B shared that before meeting her husband, she only focused on studying and work, not caring about love affairs.
Her husband was the first person she met and got married after a year of knowing each other. When they were introduced to Quang Nam, the parents-in-law were thriving, combined with the fact that their husband was the first son, making her feel secure in getting married.
After getting married and getting pregnant, Ms. B stayed at home to work and take care of her family. When her husband said she was stuck in capital, she trusted him with all 200 million VND in personal savings and 700 million VND given by her biological parents, but it was unclear where the money was spent. After that, her parents-in-law wanted to move in together to look after her grandchild and intended to buy a bigger house, but they didn't want to let her name her because they were afraid of property related.
After living together for a while, she realized that her husband's family was far from her initial impression. Throughout her pregnancy, she still cooked her own food every day, but the food her parents-in-law bought was not fresh, making her feel sorry for herself.
She even asked her husband to buy diapers for her child and was refused. With no other choice, she had to sell jewelry, withdraw insurance and start doing business online to take care of her young child. Once, during a meal, when she mentioned the money her husband had borrowed, both her husband and mother-in-law threw a bowl of rice in her face and said many harsh words.
Ms. B shared that when her husband's family refused to let her stay in the new house, she felt very disappointed. I just thought, Why are they treating me like that? But then I comforted myself, thinking that my parents-in-law should probably live in the old way, so I tried to endure and accept living alone to be peaceful, as long as I could live with my husband.
She once asked her husband why his parents-in-law treated him like that, he just said: "My parents are old, I'm afraid what will happen to me and my wife in the future. Well, it's your parents' business, and they will both die later, it's just that my husband and I live together."
Once, Ms. B's husband saved nearly 1 billion VND to return to his hometown to build a road for the family. She gently reminded him: "If I have money to do that job, I should return 700 million VND to you". But he hit the table, screaming: "Fate away, no right to demand". Because she trusted her husband, she gave money only through words and no papers, so now she feels stuck. Psychologist To Nhi A shared: "If there is a blind person, we have to turn the blind person to go, now we have to calculate the route to go".
After the divorce, Ms. B was allowed to raise children and her ex-husband was asked to provide a subsidy of 4 million VND per month, but in reality, there were months and no months.
According to psychologist To Nhi A, the first thing Ms. B needs to do now is sit with her biological family and frankly share about her current situation. "Parents' elderly allowances must be planned separately, not affected or passive because of this. How much money is left in your own hands, you have to plan clearly to rebuild your career and raise your children. We cannot let all our plans for life depend on that amount of 700 million, because when they pay, we don't know". This is the time when Ms. B needs to be clear with her family to find a long-term direction together.
At the end of the program, Ms. B did not turn on the lights, just quietly shared a message from her own story to the audience: "What I want to tell, especially women, when falling in love and preparing to get married, they must get to know each other carefully, they cannot be rushed just a few months or a year".
