Recalling the opportunity to meet, Ms. Hien said that the two had known each other since their college days, playing together in a group of friends but almost never talked. It was not until his senior year of college that Mr. Thanh asked for her phone number through a friend and started chatting. After about two and three months of getting to know each other, the two officially entered into a relationship. Love comes from things that seem very normal but are lasting enough for them to decide to get married.
However, behind the support from both families, Ms. Hien always has her own inferiority complex. Her parents divorced early, her father had a new family, causing her much pain and not really feeling safe in relationships. Therefore, she chose to hide her situation from Mr. Thanh and his family. Things only broke out on the day of the engagement ceremony, when the groom's family knew the truth and could not help but be surprised. Mr. Thanh admitted that he was once angry because he felt a lack of frankness, but after listening to the statements, he understood that it was a self-defense reflex of a person who had suffered a lot of damage.
Psychologist To Nhi A believes that prolonged injuries from family can make a person always in a state of caution, having difficulty completely trusting others. When listening to the story, Mr. Thanh said he clearly felt his wife's fragility and vulnerability and wanted to become a support and peaceful support for her.
Entering the marriage stage, the couple continued to face new challenges. Before getting married, Mr. Thanh had old love affairs. When they heard the news of his marriage, some ex-lovers texted to ask about him. While four months pregnant, which was sensitive and easily self-pitying, Ms. Hien accidentally saw these messages and fell into a state of skepticism, sadness, and difficulty controlling her emotions.
single-handedly worrying about "if men are worthy of trusting you", she cried many times without knowing who to share with. To reassure his wife and prove the clarity of their relationships, Mr. Thanh proactively cut off contact and deleted all ex-lovers. According to Dr. To Nhi A's analysis, this is the period when both need to be patient together, because the belief of those who have suffered many injuries always needs more time to recover.
In daily life, fatigue also silently appears. After the COVID-19 pandemic, Ms. Hien quit her job to focus on taking care of her teenage child - a period when she really needed parental support. Caring for her children and housework, she almost forgot to take care of herself, her appearance changed, and her figure was no longer the same as before. Many times, her husband's heartless words such as his wife's "tester" comments made her feel deeply hurt and hurt, especially when she always thought she had sacrificed a lot for the family.
Mr. Thanh admitted that sometimes his words became heavy, but it came from a feeling of anxiety, hoping for his wife to be stronger, more beautiful and more confident. Dr. To Nhi A suggests that instead of words that easily make the wife sad, the husband can choose another, gentler way of expressing: a bottle of shampoo, a simple compliment is enough for women to feel they are still seen and respected. From those comments, Mr. Thanh gradually changed, practicing praising his wife every time he saw her taking care of herself: "Why are you wearing strange clothes today?" considering it a way to encourage her to love him more.
