The main character - Ms. X (33 years old) has been married for more than 3 and a half years. Coming to the program, she wants to share the long-standing torment in married life, where faith is increasingly eroded by financial ambiguity, emotional distance and obsessions from the past.
According to the story, Ms. X and her husband met about 5-6 years ago in a rather accidental situation. At that time, she had just experienced the shock of being suddenly separated by her ex-lover.
While trying to contact her ex through social networks, she accidentally connected with the man who later became her husband. After everything was over, the two continued to keep in touch, gradually developing feelings and officially dating.
Growing up in an incomplete family, often witnessing her father's violence against her mother, Ms. X brought many obsessions about marriage. Therefore, in nearly a year and a half of dating, she said she had carefully observed her boyfriend's personality, views on life as well as family.
Before getting married, she visited her future husband's family about 2-3 times and felt that this was a gentle and well-educated family.
Although they wanted to meet each other for another 1 - 2 years to be more sure, but due to family circumstances - her grandmother was dying, along with the worry of having to endure long mourning, plus the desire to get married from her boyfriend, both decided to move towards marriage.
However, instability began to appear right from the wedding ceremony. Ms. X said she clearly felt dissatisfaction from her husband's family through small details in organizing the wedding. The climax was on the wedding night, her husband complained of fatigue, not wanting to move the room and suggested going down to sleep in the basement room, leaving her feelings of disappointment and deep hurt.
After getting married, conflicts continued to arise around financial issues. She discovered many inconsistencies in her husband's words about work and income. Although her husband once shared a salary of about 25 million VND per month, the wedding money was quite modest. The fact that her husband's family checked wedding money and expressed suspicion made her feel insulted and lost faith.
The climax of the conflict fell in the period 2022 - 2023 when Ms. X was the one who shouldered most of the family's expenses. Meanwhile, her husband avoided it, was not transparent about his workplace, labor contract or colleagues. When she looked up her husband's tax code but could not find information, she fell into a state of confusion. Even when she went to the university where her husband used to study to verify, she learned that he had not graduated.
Analyzing the story, Dr. To Nhi A, a psychologist, said that the core problem is not in her husband's family but in the lack of transparency and lack of maturity of the husband in the pillar role. “I am not suffering because of my husband's family. I am making myself suffer by placing too many expectations on a marriage that is not foundational enough,” the female doctor shared.
According to her, Ms. X's insecurity stems from traumatic childhood memories. Entering marriage with the desire to make up for the past makes her easily fall into disappointment when reality is not as expected. "If the internal loopholes have not been healed, you can still repeat similar confusions in another relationship," Dr. To Nhi A emphasized.
Currently, Ms. X and her husband are living far apart. Her husband returned to his hometown, and she took her mother to Ho Chi Minh City for treatment. The silence and avoidance from her husband made her continue to be confused about whether to continue or stop this marriage.
