When vacation becomes a test
The April 30th holiday has long been considered an ideal time for young families to rest, travel and warm up their feelings. However, reality shows that many couples fall into a state of tension, argument, and even rift after just one trip that seems full of joy.
Ms. Nguyen Thu Mai (26 years old, Hanoi) once expected the holiday trip to be a romantic time for the couple to warm up their feelings after a busy time.
However, contrary to her expectations, Ms. Mai's husband scheduled dense sightseeing spots, with almost no rest time from morning to night.
“I just wanted to relax, lie on the beach, talk to each other more. But he just wanted to go for the money. We both started to get annoyed because no one clearly stated their wish from the beginning,” Ms. Mai recounted.
The trip therefore became heavy, although no major conflicts occurred.
Another story comes from Mr. Pham Anh Tuan (29 years old, Hanoi): his wife and he once argued fiercely during a trip to Da Lat just because of spending.
I think going out is a little more comfortable, eating, experiencing for fun. But my wife wants to save money, she considers everything. There are times when just because of choosing a restaurant or buying another item, she also argues," Mr. Tuan said.
Not only stopping at money, small differences in living habits such as time, eating, or choosing a destination also make both of them stressed many times.
In fact, inherent differences are often revealed more clearly when couples are constantly together during vacation, causing conflicts to accumulate and possibly break out, affecting both the trip and the emotions afterwards.
The higher the expectations, the easier the conflict to break out.
According to Master of Psychology Bui Thi Hai Yen - founder and operator of the NHC Vietnam Human Psychology and Development System, the root cause of these contradictions lies in unnamed expectations.
Couples often expect the trip to help improve feelings and understand each other better. But when those expectations are not achieved, negative emotions will appear, from disappointment leading to dissatisfaction," expert Hai Yen shared.
Many people believe that love is unconditional, so they do not acknowledge their own desires. This is what makes them not realize the psychological bottleneck and easily blame the other person when problems occur.
In addition, when emotions are lost, people easily argue or avoid, making conflicts more serious. "To limit conflict, three important factors people need to know are sharing, respect and acceptance," the expert emphasized.
Before each trip, couples should clearly discuss their desires, schedules and finances to avoid misunderstandings. In the process of accompanying each other, it is necessary to respect the differences of each other, from habits to ways of thinking.
According to Ms. Yen, acceptance is the core keyword. By reducing expectations and accepting each other's true selves, the relationship will be lighter and more sustainable.
Instead of putting pressure on having a perfect vacation, young families should consider this a journey of experience and learning to accompany each other. When they understand and adjust themselves, the holiday will truly become a meaningful time to connect.
